The Ugly Carpet on my Hardwood Floor

My face lit up when we met again — I adore that ugly carpet. It had been six long weeks, but I was finally home and in my bedroom. The only thing missing was the room’s signature aroma (Cashmere Woods, by Glade). Everything else was exactly as I had left it.

That is a common trend; nothing changed. While I was undergoing an episode of lifestyle and personal changes in Ghana, everything back home stood still. My car was on the curb, my clothes were hung, my friends were there. It was all the same. How am I — a man who has just gained a new global perspective — supposed readjust to my American lifestyle?

It started with negativity; everything pissed me off. I far overemphasized normative, day-to-day annoyances. Things like dropping my phone, doing laundry, or making food made me so upset. Why do I live this lifestyle? Do I really belong here? My mind would race at a million miles an hour as I processed my experience in Ghana. How do I internalize what I saw?

A few nights ago it all clicked. Bear with me as I vomit my thoughts.

I did not chose to be born into my lifestyle, but I was. That is more than a random circumstance, that is a blessing. Everything I returned to when I came home is an privilege. I am historically a very materialistic person, but this realization has put that tendency into perspective. It goes beyond the material possessions though; I have taken so many of my relationships for granted throughout my life.

Presently, I have more people around me that support me and the pursuit of my passions than ever before. I am more grounded than I have ever been in my entire life, and I did realize that until I got back. There are so many people that feel lost and alone in this country, even just at Santa Clara alone. I am lucky not to be one of those individuals, it is the ultimate privilege. With this in mind, I want to do more to cement my relationships and show people how much they mean to me. Upon realizing this, I have sent so many texts to people I have not talked to in awhile — just to catch up. It is amazing how many people appreciate a simple gesture of care. I want to keep it up, I want there to be less people that feel alone. It is an awful feeling.

The six weeks flew by, but now I’m home. Even though it is all the same, it looks different — there are so many blessings.

Thank you for reading my blog.