On travel and goals.

As a kid I was always afraid of missing out on experiences. One of my earliest memories was at the age of 11, when I was doing an exchange in Switzerland. Even though I was having the time of my life there, I kept on wondering what my family was doing back in Spain. And usually ended up getting frustrated when I learned they were at birthday parties or doing some activity that I wanted to be a part of.

From my early teen years I wanted to travel and explore as much as I could. I was privileged and lucky enough to have the opportunity to do just that, since I left school when I was 14. The only way I felt I was experiencing life to the fullest was while discovering new cultures and walking around unknown streets.

I became a watcher, although I engaged with locals, most of my days would be spent documenting how other people lived by taking notes or pictures and reflecting on what I saw. The world became my classroom.

Since then, my definition of intentional living has shifted a little. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling and it still is a big part of my life. But recently I also found other things to focus on. Instead of looking at the world from the outside, I want to be a part of it, create and make things.

My motivation comes from moving forward and at the time being, it means improving my skills and getting better at my work.

I guess it all comes down to spending time on the stuff you actually like. As a kid I didn’t have a passion/calling. The only thing I knew was that I liked traveling. It was pretty much the only constant thing throughout my life.

Some kids played piano, I visited three different continents before I turned 16.

Now that I actually have an idea of what sort of career I want to create for myself, all I want to do is get to work. And whenever I don’t, I feel guilty for not focusing on my goals because I’m not taking actions to move forward in life.

And this is why traveling feels overwhelming at times. One part of me wants to take it all in and enjoy. The other wants to improve my photography skills, learn to use Illustrator and put content out there.

I’m currently in Hangzhou, China. Whenever I work I feel bad for not being out there exploring. But the same thing happens when I get back home from spending the day walking around the city. Because I feel unaccomplished, like I didn’t challenge myself. And therefore missing an opportunity to grow.

But who says you can’t have both?

I realize that my guilt from working while being here, comes mainly from what other people may think; that I’m not taking advantage of this amazing opportunity. Once I realized that, it was pretty easy to let go of the fear and do what really makes me happy, a mix of sightseeing and continuing to focus on my goals.

This way I have the best of both worlds. I gain new perspective and ways to look at life by living here, and I also grow by continuing on developing my areas of interest and pursuing my goals.

I have been a watcher most of my life. I think is time I give being a doer a try.

Plus, would you call having this view while working a missed opportunity? Because I sure don’t.

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