Healing from Enmeshment
Healing from enmeshment requires you to recognise it first. A problem well-stated is half solved. It requires doing the work every single day. When you’ve been enmeshed with others your entire life, it’s easy to let them step all over you, to have them define your life.
“Study this course.”
“Take this job.”
“Marry that person.”
“Don’t do that. What will people say?”
There’s usually one person in your life who represents that collective voice of society. You seek their approval. You’re scared of disappointing them. You’re wired to please because it was your survival strategy.
And so you go through life shrinking yourself, extinguishing the spark inside of you that wants more. The spark that wants to do something different. That wants to…
Color outside of the lines…
Piss people off…
Hurtle head-first towards your dreams and ambitions…
Be too loud…
Do more than just aspire for marriage…
But you don’t do any of that.
You end up doing things not because you want to but because if you don’t, someone will point you out as the cause of their emotional woes, and you don’t want to hurt anybody.
So you slowly build up resentment.
One day at a time.
Until one day…you hit rock bottom. And the people for whom you’ve been running the charade of your life mock you. They make you feel like shit. They kick you out of their house. Most importantly, none of them bothers to help you get back up on your feet.
And then it hits you.
Hitting rock bottom was probably the best thing that ever happened to you because now you know…
You’re responsible for your life.
And nobody is coming to save you.
