“To be interesting, be interested.”

After reading the first chapter: “Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere”, of book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, I have the view that is it really worth it in this case. We have friends who are known to us then why we need to get to know them? This book taught me that only showing a minor interest in someone’s life can influence them a lot. This book shared some experiences and gave practical examples to influence people in real life. It is human nature that they only think and talk about “I” and “me” but it should be “You” that makes you interesting instead of I and me.
The best line from whole chapter is:

If you interact with people daily at your job, university or anywhere else, or simply want to improve the relationship you have with your friends and family, ask them about their hobbies, their job or other interests they have. Instead of always talking about yourself, talk about them and get to know them. They feel appreciated and will have great respect for you and will enjoy speaking with you. How you treat or behave with others is reciprocated, others will respond you with the same behavior. To conclude, treat them nicely with smile because “Happy face attract happy people.”
With the aim to implement and develop this skill of being interested in others, I started focusing on others by asking about their lives. I had a chat with few people from my twitter account and friends from college, talking about their life, about the situations they are in, about their desires etc. At first people found it a little bit odd that someone is talking to them about their lives. It was weird for me as well asking someone about their life without even talking about yourself but when they get going it became much easier to communicate.
Responses and results were quite surprising for me. The word “trust” developed throughout the chat and after having conversation for only 50–60 minutes, the other person felt much comfortable talking to me. I realized, when you start caring about them and asking about their problems and providing solutions to those problems if possible, they started appreciating you and respected you more. One of them said that he wanted to have such conversation with someone and he is glad that I did message him. I learned that majority of the time a person only needs to be heard.
Everyone needs effort, attention, empathy and time. When we ask about them, about their lives, then we can obviously gain their interest, trust and can win their hearts. This is what Dale Carnegie told us in the book.
“We cannot understand someone else’s ideas while we’re busy talking about our own”

I will definitely apply this concept of “being interested in real life” and will try to listen others opinions as well because it not only provides me better understanding of their ideas but also builds a binding relationship between us.
