The truth is that my desire for weight loss has long been about satisfying other people more than myself, finding a way to fit more peacefully into a world that is not at all interested in accommodating a body like mine. And the dominant cultural attitude toward fatness is that the fat body is a medical problem, a drain on society, an aesthetic blight. As a fat person, I am supposed to want to lose weight. I am supposed to be working on the problem of my body. I am supposed to apply discipline to physical unruliness. I’m not supposed to be fine with my body. I am not supposed to yearn, simply, for people to let me be, to see me, accept me, and treat me with dignity exactly as I am.
If we shame curiosity, our country will never stop being scarred by the battle lines we draw to ward off the loony toon republicans or the batshit democrats. Exalt curiosity. Exalt the ability to hold someone else’s belief in your mind for a moment. You might find we disagree on fewer points than you thought, or you might find that this other person is insane and I am the God of right and wrong. I think that sort of certainty is always insane, but arriving there after actually engaging with an opposing opinion is the closest you’ll ever come to being right.
Those days are gone. If you’re going to embark on a new project when you’re older, you don’t want to do it the way you did it then. It may have been exciting, but your body was more forgiving. Now, your body is more like a partner in your business, compromising sometimes, resisting other times. It’s a negotiation you need to factor into your business plan.