It’s been two years.
Driving home that day, I remember the phone call.
Stuck in traffic so I answered.
The words that rang in my ears and stole my breath.
My heart hammering in my chest, my face hot.
The tears of shock prickling my eyes.
I don’t remember getting home.
I remember the numb shock and disbelief.
And then the guilt.
The guilt that never leaves. The guilt that is never quiet. The guilt that I didn’t ask if you were okay. The guilt that I didn’t call, I didn’t text.
I didn’t know what was wrong.
I’ve cried for you so many times.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there.
I’m sorry you couldn’t see what everyone else could see.
I hope you made the right choice
I hope that you are at peace.