“War Dogs” aka Let Fat Jonah Do His Thing

— August 21, 2016

You know you have yourself a Todd Phillips movie when two characters are having a heart-to-heart while walking away from a funeral. #RIPBlue #keepontrucking

And on a superficial level, there are other tells that would hint at the rest of the man’s cinematographic universe:

• Charismatic, douche-bag alpha? Check
• Badass rock soundtrack? Check
• A story focused on man-children getting away with ridiculous shit? Check
• Bradley Cooper? Check

But it really stops there. The Hill / Teller dynamic, which is the beating heart of the film, feels forced and ultimately falls flat.

[Sidebar: I really think Teller should pay for Jonah Hill’s chiropractic bills for carrying his ass through that entire movie — especially as Fat Jonah. And what is the deal with Teller?? Explodes on the scene with a cameo in the all-time-classic Project X. Then turns in an Oscar-worthy performance in Whiplash. Follows that up by nabbing his first role in a franchise (Divergent — promising at the time). And then Fantastic 4, War Dogs, and Ascendant gets cancelled?! Boom. Boom. Boom. I’m just saying, this is make or break time buddy.]

The feel-good fuzziness and humanity that we’ve come to expect are absent. The movie, which is long at almost 2 hours, mismanages it’s time, leaving us with an abrupt and unjustified ending. And it’s ultimately hard to get past seeing this thing for what it seems to be: a summer flick box office grab.

Although, watching Fat Jonah in a gold chain forcing a hyena laugh will always be priceless.

Rating: 5.5 / 10 ; VOD that shit