The Problem With the Advice to ‘Just Go and Live Your Life’ During a Pandemic
Why this advice is not only unhelpful, but comes from a place of ignorance and prejudice
“Forget about Covid. Just go and live your life!”
“You can’t live in fear forever. Just go out there and live your life!”
“We’re all going to get it anyway, just get out there and live!”
We’ve heard the above so many times. We’ve heard so many different variations of it. For those of us who, despite the widespread removal of all safety measures, have continued to take the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic seriously and take necessary measures to avoid the virus — avoiding crowded places, avoiding indoor meetings with others, continuing to mask in public and practising social distancing — we’ve been advised countless times by all manner of people ranging from family to complete strangers online to forget about it all and ‘Just go and live your life’.
Far from being helpful, well-informed or constructive advice, in the context of a global pandemic the advice to ‘Just go and live your life’ amounts to little more than manipulative gaslighting, and not only that, but it’s coming from a place of outright ignorance and prejudice. Here I’m going to explain precisely why that is, and it’s something that urgently needs addressing right now, since even therapists and doctors, i.e. the very people who are supposed to be helping us deal with these rough times of history, are pushing this exact advice on their clients and patients.
So here are the reasons why ‘Just go and live your life’ is not only unhelpful, but outright toxic advice at this present time.
It is Based on False Assumptions
When you think about it, undermining the severity of the pandemic aside (it is not ‘mild’, ‘just a cold’ or ‘just the flu’ and while vaccines may reduce suffering in the acute stage, they do not prevent transmission or Long Covid), there’s a whole load of fallacies, assumptions and outright prejudice in the statement.
For one thing, it assumes that it is not possible to ‘live your life’ by staying at home, and that going out and partaking in big social events is essential in order to ‘live your life’.
I for one am continuing to isolate from SARS2 (I will be referring to the virus by its proper name throughout this essay as opposed to the watered-down ‘Covid’, which has itself been used as part of the minimization of the virus and gaslighting of the public) and however strong the frustrations at the moment of feeling I’m living in a different reality from the world around me, and however much I may miss certain activities it is now unsafe to partake in, I can nonetheless confirm I’m still very much ‘living my life’. Just as in the lockdowns of 2020, I was very much ‘getting on with my life’ and never once felt my life was on hold.
I make sure to use every day to do something constructive with my time. I have had numerous creative projects on the go the whole time. I’m still able to ‘socialize’ via Zoom and Skype calls with friends, or meeting them outdoors in safe, uncrowded surroundings. I’m fortunate enough to work from home anyway so my job has not been affected, and I have very much progressed, expanded myself as a person and enriched my life experiences within the stay-at-home lifestyle. I’m still ‘living my life’ just as much as before; the difference is that I have adapted to the changes in the world resulting from the pandemic, and am thus taking the necessary precautions to stay safe in our changed environment, whilst continuing with my life goals and pursuits.
The people telling us to ‘go and live our lives’ imply that we are somehow neglecting our lives and throwing them away by continuing to isolate from the virus. What they are overlooking completely, or failing to recognize, is the fact that we are continuing to isolate precisely BECAUSE we value life. We value life enough to know that our health and safety is precious, and no social event, however pleasurable, is worth the risk of an early death or a severely compromised quality of life due to chronic illness. Nor is it worth inflicting such a fate on others lest we transmit the virus in the process.
It is an Attitude Born of Prejudice
But not only is this ‘just go and live your life’ attitude based on a false premise of what it means to value living, but it is also highly prejudiced. It is prejudiced, for one, against people who are introverted, people who enjoy their own company, who can accomplish a lot by themselves and do not necessarily feel a need for constant social contact. It is prejudiced against neurodivergent people, for many people on the Autistic spectrum fall into these categories.
It is also an ableist attitude, prejudiced against those who have chronic illness or disabilities that mean it is difficult or awkward for them to leave home very often. Particularly those with certain medical conditions who know that for the sake of their health and lives, they cannot afford to get this virus even once. For the fact is, while social isolation may not come easily for everyone, life can still very much be ‘lived’ while staying at home, and our current predicament necessitates we recognize this.
Life can very much be ‘Lived’ while staying safe from the Pandemic
There is indeed an infinitude of things we can do, accomplish and experience within a lifestyle safe from SARS2. Staying safe from the virus, or staying at home, does not mean just sitting in front of the TV all day and wasting the days away. Whatever our skills, talents, and interests, there is plenty for us to do. We can choose to engage in a hobby. Write. Draw. Paint. Read. Play music. Practice our skills in cookery, or gardening. Immerse ourselves in literature, music and films. Learn something new. Do a distance learning course and gain a qualification. Make constructive use of the fact we live in an age where a wealth of information is accessible to us via the internet. Learn a language. Learn to play an instrument. Write songs. Record music, release it via Spotify, launch a music career. Write a book. Arrange fun virtual get-togethers with friends over Zoom or Skype. Exercise. Work out. Go for walks in nature. Go jogging, sailing, hiking or partake in countless other outdoor activities away from crowds. Meet a friend outdoors for a walk together. You can call this ‘living in fear’ if you like. I just call it living.
This is not to devalue big social occasions or belittle anyone who loves a good party or night on the town. (I was very socially active myself pre-pandemic, and travelled regularly, which I do miss.) We are, after all, social creatures; the need for contact with others is hardwired into our biology. Solitude and social distancing won’t come easily for everybody. And if governments worldwide had taken a sensible approach towards the pandemic and implemented the necessary safety measures and mitigations to keep damage from SARS2 as low as possible, rather than ‘let it rip’, it would be relatively easy for most of us to strike a healthy balance between safety from the virus and meeting our social needs. The point of my argument is that there are plenty of ways to ‘live your life’ without such large-scale activities (many of which, for instance nightclubbing and festivals, are not even basic necessities of life but bonuses to living in an economically prosperous society, pleasures which people in poorer countries don’t get to enjoy half as much), and much as humanity has survived historically by adapting to difficult changes in its environment, something as major as a global pandemic necessitates that we realize this.
The Logical and Rational Approach is to Protect Ourselves from the Virus
Sure enough, in ‘normal’ (i.e. non-pandemic) times, if someone chose to always stay at home and never go out and socialize, it would be a reasonable enough argument that by doing so they might be missing out on positive life experiences that would enrich their lives for the better. And yes, I’m sure that by continuing to isolate even while the country has resumed its pre-pandemic ways, I am missing out on certain experiences that would enrich my life for the better were I to go out and have them. But at the same time, there is a very real risk that by going out and having these experiences, I could destroy or seriously impair my quality of life were I to get the virus and suffer Long Covid or other severe long-term health complications.
Therefore, as someone who wants to get as much out of life as possible, I choose to avoid this risk and instead use my time at home to do constructive things and make positive achievements. Given that the virus has been indicated by scientific studies to increase the risk of long-term health complications with each infection, attacking all organs and shrinking the brain, ageing it by 10 years — and is leaving many previously healthy people disabled from Long Covid, while excess deaths among working age people have increased by 40% from pre-pandemic levels — there is every reason why someone who values life and wants to get as much out of life as possible would choose to avoid activities that risk exposure to the virus, and make healthy adaptations to live their life as safely as possible. This is not a question of being ‘scared’, it is a matter of common sense and rational logic.
Thus, amidst the threat of the SARS2 virus, the advice ‘Just go and live your life’ is an enormous fallacy, and is born of staggering ignorance and a shallow outlook on life. It is built on a superficial concept of what constitutes a life well-lived, and it also comes from a place of entitlement, prejudice and ableism. It should be challenged in the firmest possible ways, as this attitude quite contrary to enabling people to live a fuller life, is in fact destroying and ruining many lives.
Now of all times, it might be worth remembering the lyrics of the classic song by The Waterboys:
“I wandered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon”
August 2022