On peace (and long ‘peaceful' relationships)
Long periods of peace… of stability, harmony, joy, wealth, health; and then boom, everything falls apart.
The rare event, huh? Thought the ‘small chance' would never come to fruition? And you look back, and it “just crept up on you"; t’was unexpected.
To begin, absorb this heuristic: Long periods of an attained (or desired) state (or stability) invite the negative random event.
The negative random event of the San Andreas fault line erupting is known (the chance of the event occurring); it’s no longer a matter of ‘if’ its going to happen, but, when. It’s a time bomb literally waiting to happen, to blow up, while we currently live in ‘peace’.
Such is the case in what we call ‘stability’; stable relationships, stable salary, stable government, that type of foolishness. Because of the nature of attaining a long sequence of ‘desired’ states or events, even a small ripple in the sequence of stability incur the ‘rare’ event. It’s almost as if the rare event was invited to a tea party (the abrupt relationship ending fight or argument).
If there exists, say, an infinite amount of time, and there also exists a chance (regardless of how small) that an event will occur. The event will occur; the only thing that is unknown is precisely ‘when’ the event will occur. Questioning whether you will die or not is irrelevant, it’s going to happen, but when?
So generally we can say this, albeit, a bit shaky considering that time is not always known: The smaller the chance of an event, the longer it will take to occur, however, it will occur.
“Hatep and Angies realationship”
Hatep meets Angie on a dating website (stablemingle.com). And after a ‘nice’ and normal online chat, they decide to eat at, say, a fancy shmancy steak house named “Del frisky’s”, that type of date.
After the date, Angie says to her mother, Anne, that “Hatep is a nice kindaguy, he’s sweet, cleancut, and intelligent”, the usual vague garbage. And, thus begins a ‘long lasting’ relationship between Angie and Hatep in which they ‘move in’ (like usual) and begin pondering if they should have a child together. And they do. And this seemingly ‘peaceful’ kind of ‘fantasy’ or ‘ideal’ relationship lasts for about 7 years without any kind of relationship improving conflicts and arguments.
And boom, the relationship blows up.
Angie is baffled, and she cannot understand how such a ‘stable’ relationship could have ended so abruptly, moreso, in one argument. But, what she fails to understand is that anything that is stable for long periods of time is merely inviting a rare event to occur; and to her own ignorance she says “Oh my gosh, I just don't understand”. When in reality, its all very simple in terms of what happened, the inevitable rare event occurred. Angie is just a fool.
Had Angie and Hatep just accepted that healthy relationships involve frequent ‘fights’ and arguments (volatility), perhaps the relationship could have been savored. However, such a relationship is what they call ‘unstable’. And for whatever reason, ‘unstable’ relationships are seen as ‘unhealthy’. How foolish.
When systems are exposed to volatility with short periods of stability, the system is strengthened. Thus gaining immunity to the rare event that will occur.
Our human bodies are a perfect example of our adeptness to volatility. When exposed to stress (exercise) the human body returns with reinforcements when given an ample amount of recovery time. If our bodies remained at a constant ‘fitness’ (which most people pursue) then when it came time to escape the chase of a lion, we would have long exited the gene pool as we would have not been able to adapt to this rare event.
And emotions. Its absolutely ridiculous to want to achieve a constant emotional state. I actually revel and enjoy my emotional mood swings, it adds spice to life. However, I find it so strange why we intentionally try to treat ourselves like some sort of machine; we proscribe medicine to children so that they may conform to modern education (how ironic, isn't education for children? not the reverse?) because they are told that their children cannot sit in the same position for 8 hours. I always imagine what it would be like to sit down for 8 hours if we were still hunter gatherers; probably would have gotten devoured by various insects and animals. As animals, we have not evolved for stability, rather, precisely the opposite, volatility. It is precisely the volatile attribute of our emotions that allows us to adapt to volatile environments. It is not beneficial to remain happy while a lion is attempting to devour us.
I was having a conversation concerning peace while driving to the beach. My friend had told something along the lines of “lasting peace is what society strives to achieve”. He was being a fool. And I told him “I have a personal issue with long periods of stability” (or peace).
I had to explain to him that long lasting states of anything is inviting the rare event that will cause a ‘blow up’. its just waiting to happen. Its more beneficial to have intermediate wars between states or countries that do not cause total destruction or blow up. Which would eventually strengthen the system as a whole. People who advocate complete abstinent from war are fooling no one but themselves.
Other areas to avoid being a fool: 1. Salary job (very stable, until the rare event) 2. Routine planning (plans always fail to the rare event) 3. How to’s 4.Gym routines 5. Schedules.
Just be human, not a machine.
Heuristic: Revel in volatility; its an opportunity to return with more strength. do not be a fool.
Seneca said, ‘Lady Fortuna’s curse’s are but merely an opportunity to become stronger’ in his letters.