Why I choose to Feel it vs. Think it?
Today I experienced one of those weirdest moments: I fell asleep with a book for 20 minutes and woke up being a person of a different kind of nature. Unknown to myself, unknown to the world, and well, does it matter?
For one sacred moment, human beings disappeared from the planet Earth with all the rights and wrongs, completely vanished. I was there just by myself, for myself with my thoughts deeply synced with the world of my dreams and magic.
I experienced a sense of total emptiness, and it was a pure ecstatic realization. For a second, I lost my memory: I forgot all the events I was part of, all conversations I was involved in, I forgot the people I cared so much and not so…I became part of a different reality.
Was I mindful at that moment? I really do not know. Is it possible to know for sure if you are mindful of your present moment? What if it’s another trick of your cunning mind? The mind that cherishes its rationality, as it thinks of itself being a superior substance guided by the brain…a fanatic follower of the brain? And we praise our brain, we constantly put it on a pedestal of ours, and we glorify it, and often times leave no room for our fragile feelings.
While you can be easily tricked by your mind, your feelings never lie to you…at least I believe so…
The mind tries to make sense of all your experiences. The mind is kind of a tailor that stitches every piece of your memory with a thread made of logic. But what if there is no logic behind? What if we follow our rational mind out of fear of waking up one day with a realization that there is no logical explanation of events taking place in our life? Will you be terrified?
For me, the world is full of hidden signs, the signs that speak the language unknown to others that only you can understand, because these signs are gifted especially to you. They might make no sense, and definitely are not guided by reasoning, but I choose to Feel it instead of Thinking of it.
Everyone is in search of a channel to project his or her inner voice to the outer world. It can take various shapes, it can shine with flamboyant colors or it can be barely seen. It can co-exist in multiple dimensions…It does not have boundaries and it might make no sense at first. But once you find it — it’s yours- to project to the world, or just to yourself…You might not be able to Think it but you might be able to Feel it…
Sometimes, you wake up in the middle of the night to look at its barely defined reflection on the wall, and then you look around to make sure nobody can see you. It’s there for you, and you have a right not to make a blockbuster movie out of its reflection, and just keep it for yourself.
I’ve been looking for my channel for quite a long time. There were days when I was madly following it, and days when I was completely deaf…But I’ve always trusted its presence. And today, during my nap I almost caught it with my hands…I do not know how long it will stay with me, and maybe it has already gone? For now, let me be mesmerized by its pure reflection. I can’t fully comprehend it, but does it matter? I can FEEL it with my vibrating soul. And that’s enough for me because it is beautiful! :)