It’s like rain….


I have so much i want to write and what feels like such little time. Suppose i could just keep going for as long as i wanted. Telling myself ‘it’s ok Aimee. Slow it down. One thought at a time’.

Anxiety. In layman's terms i suppose its a million thoughts going through the head at once. Of course anxiety comes in many shapes and forms and we all experience it differently but for me its like this…
So many thoughts, spinning and whizzing in the brain at once. I am a visual person and i’m sitting here as i’m writing trying to think of an analogy i can give. 
It’s kind of like….. rain… in a way. On a really good day the sun is shining and its a clear sky. Clear of clouds and no rain. (HAHA you almost have to be a buddha to have days like this). For the average person it’s more like patchy morning fog, partly cloudy with a chance of a shower or 2 during the afternoon/evening. Then as the anxiety sets in you start to experience more rain… heavy rain… and at it’s worse a thunderstorm hits. Gale force winds, thunder, lightening and its bucketing down. You can’t go out without getting drenched. You have to stay at home curled up on the couch in your pyjamas because it’s flooded and you can’t get out of the house.
There you go. Probably the best analogy i could give.

So here i am trying to decipher and process the fact that it’s raining. If i can process the fact it’s raining in time then i can get out before a storm hits. Pretty chuffed with myself over that analogy and now it’s probably all i am going to be able to think about all night. Until i tell someone i came up with that.

So we all experience anxiety in our own way and we also have our own ways of coping and managing anxiety. If you think you can control anxiety well you are kidding yourself. It can’t be controlled. It will be there forever. At the back of the mind. But if we can identify the triggers and manage it then we as human’s are dealing with it like we should be able to. 
I keep getting told, by every psychologist i see (must be in the handbook), that anxiety is a caveman’s instinct. It’s our natural ability to fear the dangerous so we don’t go and walk out in front of a car. It’s that thing that stops us and makes us think that it would be dangerous to do that and it could end really bad. Like the cavemen would not go and stick their arm in the mouth of the most dangerous animal. I have got so sick of hearing this analogy all the time!! They all start sounding like broken records, but every time i do hear it, it reminds me that what i am feeling is normal. It’s normal to get anxious and it’s normal to experience fear and that it’s not necessary to be anxious all the time. (I know it’s hard to process real facts when the mind is full of thoughts and just spinning around)

That’s probably enough for now. My head is starting to hurt and i’m tired. I’m lucky both my kids are in bed sound asleep so i can go jump in bed myself and rest my poor head. Although i can guarantee you that it won’t stop. Never does. 
Suppose i will fill you in more tomorrow.

Until then…. To the mums battling with bed time and to everyone battling with a busy mind. Just keep on keeping on. Take each day as it comes. Each minute if you have to.

Aimee J X

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