Oh those thoughts!
I have made a massive realisation lately!
I have to keep busy. Like really busy….. to keep myself sane. The more busier i am, the more i feel like i handle life better. When i’m not ridiculously crazy busy and things start to slow down thats when i start to get overwhelmed with small details and thoughts.
It can be quite a large part of anxiety. A lot of people use keeping busy as their way of keeping themselves distracted from their thoughts. They use a certain activity or many activities as their way of pushing the thoughts away so they don’t have to deal with them. This was me! I would use art as my way of putting a brick wall up to my thoughts and not dealing with them. It’s very normal. In our darkest times you really don’t want to go anywhere near those thoughts…. but it’s not very healthy. Unfortunately no matter how much you push those thoughts you are avoiding to the back of your head and try and forget about them, they are still there.. lingering. Then one day when you finally stop they are going to flood your head all at once and this is what causes major breakdowns and panic attacks!!
Dealing with your thoughts is not easy to do! I know people that have been suppressing them for decades and finally it’s starting to catch up with them. They have pushed through their whole lives and and now unfortunately it is 1000 times harder for them to deal with it.
I find myself in an extremely lucky situation where i have worked with all my mental health support services and i have found ways for me to deal with my thoughts and manage the anxiety rather then just suppressing them. I now finally feel like i can process my thoughts a little better and avoid some of the panic attacks and overwhelmed feelings i used to get.
In saying this it doesn’t just go away. I still have bad days where i feel like i just can’t manage anything. Thoughts flood my head and i end up in that ‘dark’ place that feels like the end of the world. Literally. But now i am having less of those days and i am slowly going longer without having those days.
For me…. i need to keep busy. I need to keep busy and i need to vocalise all my thoughts. So many people will find me talking about the most random things or interrupting conversations with completely unrelated topics but i just have to get the thoughts out of my head. Once i vocalise the thoughts it’s like i can start to process them and make more sense of them.
The busier i am i find the less time i have to linger on thoughts. Instead i process them, deal with what i have to and move on. So i keep myself always going with something! I have the kids, i volunteer at the local high school for an arts program, i run my own business, i am studying and i have my art. Always something going on with me. But for me this is what works.
This, however, isn’t going to work for you all. Everyone will find their own unique way of helping make things slightly easier. The key is finding what works for you! I don’t think i could have found this without the kelp of my mental health support worker and my psychologist (as well as the medication). They have all been a critical part in me getting better.
Find something you love doing. Try not to use it as a way to escape reality but use the positive energy you get from doing something you love to help deal with reality. Hopefully that positive energy will help make the experience a little less dark and gloomy.
Feel free to share you thoughts on what has helped you get through…www.facebook.com/aimeejisme
I also share a lot of my random thoughts on snapchat : aimeejisme
Have a wonderful week and i will check back in soon :)
Aimee J xox