
Do You Secretly Hate The Opposite Sex?
When I was about 4, I watched a teenage guy rip a girl’s bikini clean off her body.
No matter how hard she fought him, he was too strong and the next thing she was stripped bare & crying.
Humiliated.
And as a kid, it was confusing to watch. I was terrified he’d do it to me next.
This isn’t a nice thing to write.
Believe me.
But when I uncovered this in my morning tapping round, it set off a HUGE string of memories where I’ve felt overpowered, disrespected and at the mercy of men.
It also set off a heap of hate, tears & anger about my own experiences, as well as on behalf of women everywhere.
And as each thing came up, I realised, that EVERYTHING I do has been based on an unconscious need to appease, please or not rock the boat with men.
(don’t worry guys. The story turns nice at the end 😉 And I know many of you have the same issues with women, so flip it around as you read)
But I get thoughts in my head about wanting to do something.
Let’s say, when I was vegan.
Yet there’s always this scenario I play out where I’m at a barbecue and the men there start disrespecting my choices and challenging me on them.
And I have to come up with some passive response to appease them so they don’t feel uncomfortable about what the fuck I put in MY mouth.
It’s always a man in these scenarios. And it’s always me trying to create some witty response to avoid confrontation with him.
It’s like a game I play in my head … because I’ve felt like that’s the only place I’ll win the argument.
But it’s affected my behaviour & decisions in real life. Because I operated from a place of fear around what men will think of me if I do it.
How fucked up is that!?
I’m not even in a relationship, yet subconsciously, I’d put men’s opinions of what I do before my own.
Is it actually any man’s fault I’d done this to myself?
HELL NO!
I’m surrounded by strong, beautiful, funny men who love me to bits.
But you respond more strongly to negative stimuli than you do positive.
Then it imprints on your brain more powerfully because the emotions are so strong to the events that occurred.
So your beliefs are a culmination of perceptions & projections you’ve picked up throughout your life.
And they’ve created unseen blockages in your psyche that stop you from fully stepping into your own power.
Because you don’t want to be seen as angry or aggressive or bitter.
It’s this feeling of powerlessness.
Feeling devalued and like a piece of meat (or a walking wallet).
And suppressing your anger around that that makes you feel like you can’t do anything about it.
I mean, it’s their behaviour, not yours. And you can’t control that.
You can only control how you feel about it … and it triggers the hell out of you.
So avoiding the entire subject is the only option.
I look back to my date coaching days only to realise that me doing that was an indirect healing for myself.
That if I help guys get this sorted, I’ll learn to understand them better & appreciate them more (which it did — and also shone a light to me on their own struggles with women).
But I was still projecting my own wounds around this. I was healing them by avoiding healing myself.
I, like you, have been conditioned by a society full of wounded people who don’t know any different either.
That we’re a) victims of our own doing, and b) victims of generations of other people’s doing.
I mean, what hope do we have when experiences from an early age with the other gender involve pain, humiliation & fear?
Where our every move is dictated by events from our past & the people in it?
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Awareness alone is the biggest step in change.
And if you don’t heal it, then you’ll send yourself down a further path to self-destruction. It’ll never end while it’s still embedded in your brain & emotions.
So maybe the reason you’re not doing/getting something is as a result of your need to please the opposite sex (parent, sibling, ex, men/women as a collective).
Before you can please yourself.
And in order for you to move forward, you need to really go inside yourself to clarify the REAL motivations for your behaviour.
And shift your perception on this … which in turn, will shift your results.
Ains 😊
To get my help with clearing your mental & emotional blocks, PM me to book a session.
