A little moment in a day Decision
“A decision in one day could make your whole life change.”
After graduated from university, I never thought that I have lost myself like this. There are plenty of plans for myself to complete in years to come. However, plan never goess well.
One day I started working in one of big international organization which I never imagine to work there. But, you know what! That is not because I got a good luck from god; I have decided to get what I were doing. Since at that time in the last semester of senior year in university, some of my classmates already have some work place that they noticed but some including me, I haven’t thought about that yet due to the fact that I still really struggle with my thesis. At the meantime, the organization was hiring for some positions for a new project and all my closed friends apply for that and different positions. Me? Well, since there is a little hope, believing, encouragement from one of my sweetie friend; I also decide to apply. I don’t consider much toward what gonna happen to me, my work, career and life with this new opportunity. Finally, I have started work there in one position that big enough for the new fresh graduate like me. In short for seven months worked there, I have learned a lot of bitter sweet experience in the real work on field.
The project ended! Well, being independent girl in the city is not easy at all. And that day, I decided to talk to a person about job opportunity, by chance I got a new job in suddenly without considering much even I have to change the skill and career. The beginning of the four months work there, it went so fine but not everything is fine. I start to feel different toward what I think to the work in real world. I have try my best in work but it seem nothing go well as I expected. The spirit of independent and freedom force me to decide and change my mind again. I have requested for resign from the company but at the end what I got from them was a fired and shame for me in front of people. This is a very first time to get the down in hell of shame feeling!
However, I still believe in myself that I leave for good and I made a right decision. It is just the beginning of the painful thing in my life. I don’t have any bucks to survive and again I start to borrow money from friends around! Because of that day, I got a depression and locked myself inside with pain. I don’t have any motivation or encouragement to move on and get myself back together. Two months later with little work as freelancer, I don’t earn much money but just try to survive with some debt on my head. Everyday is not a good day anymore, I start to feel bad and negative for myself every time and think about what the hell I am doing with my life and why I am hurt my family by my action and decision like this. Later on thing start getting better and I started to open my mind to change thing in positive way and keep move forward little by little by myself.
Wonder and you may have a doubt about me and wanna ask me whether I can found myself and what am I going to do next? Hold on! I would like to tell you that I don’t know too because it half half Yes and No answer. What I do know now is that I have to have good day and best time for myself everyday. I think, I feel, I see thing positively. I am going to let myself to get one more chance to grab all the opportunity to learn and grow bit by bit from the ground to the top hill. Everyday is a decision for your journey. When life throw tough time in your face, accept it all and grow well and stronger.
Just keep hope and believing in yourself!