I Don’t Miss You

I don’t miss you. I miss the person you led me to believe you were. I miss feeling happy, or at least thinking I was happy. I should have known better. I should have seen the signs. You never really wanted me. You wanted to be independent, have all the freedom to do whatever (and whoever) you wanted. I loved you. I cared about you and your daughter. I supported you. I valued your thoughts and opinions. I invested myself into making you happy and putting the relationship first.

How did you return the favor? You talked down to me, yelled at me for daring to ask you to come home at a decent hour when you went out without me repeatedly. You screamed at me for questioning why fb, youtube and basically anyone else was more important than spending any quality time with me. You stayed up late every night talking to whoever, and watching netflix and porn, and then complained about being tired and never getting work done. When I suggested you try to sleep more, you told me “fuck your opinion”.

You are a toxic person. You are destructive. Relationships have never worked for you , so you make sure to keep the pattern going. You told me this would never happen if you were dating a woman….Yes it would. You will continue to fail in relationships and it’s all your fault. Until you change…nothing in your life will change. You will keep blaming everyone else for your problems. You will never be able to handle criticism. As for me, I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

I wish I never had to see you again. I want nothing to do with you. I don’t want to ever be friends again. You don’t deserve my attention. You don’t get to demand I quit ignoring you and that I just be “ok” around you. You hurt me. You tossed me aside like I was garbage and then couldn’t handle me being seen with another woman. You fucked this up. You made the decision to make me want nothing to do with you. I get to move on and heal in my own way. I get to deal with the fact that seeing you gives me a sinking gut feeling. I get to try and deal with seeing you as a spoiled brat with an ugly soul when I used to see a beautiful caring woman. You aren’t better off. Keep telling yourself that. I am certain you will find another man to manipulate and make them feel bad for you. I am no longer that person. I am stronger and more determined to find my own happiness. You get to live with the fact that you kicked me out of your life for being supportive caring and loving. I will find someone who will appreciate me.