Being Interested is the Key
Yesterday I took the Interested challenge offered by Amal academy. For that I had to read a few pages from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”; after reading the book and some great examples by really great people I learnt the key factor in their success i.e. show them you are interested.
I loved the story of Howard Thurston, the magician so famous that over 60 million people paid to be in his show. When Mr. Thurston was asked the secret of his success, he said that apart from his passion in magic and illusions, the key is his interest in people. He said that every time he went on stage he said to himself:
“I am grateful that these people come to see me, they make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I am going to give them the very best I possibly can”
The passion, zestfulness and adoration of Mr. Thurston for his people was the reason he became so successful in his life, he always valued his audience. In return, the audience loved him and they trusted him. Eventually he became interesting!
I took the challenge very seriously and and for 24 hours I ask people about them, how they feel?, what difficulties are they having in life?, what they like to change about themselves?.
First they feel a little insecure that why suddenly I am so much interested in their lives, but I was forbid by Amal Academy to tell them about the challenge. Then I change my negotiating tone into a very humble one, started the conversation with sharing a story of my life while keeping it very short and asking them about theirs in the end. In this way they felt more comfortable and answered all my questions eventually.
I can relate this experience with a scene of “Freaky Friday”, when the daughter was trapped in her mother’s body and was asked to be a psychologist for one day to deal with patients. She asked her mother about the things she had to say to the patients. Her mother gave her only one advice “Ask them how they feel about it”.
People want to know that you are interested in them, they pay huge amounts to psychologists just to listen to them, to talk about themselves, their problems without judging them. It makes them feel worthy and they develop a bond of trust and security with the doctor.
I feel no shame in confessing that I am a narcissist, I like to engage people in myself and talk about my problems. After doing this activity I came to know that sometimes my friends are only showing their interest in my life just for the sake of our friendship, because nobody likes a person who keeps on talking about themselves. This challenge gave me the opportunity to gain an insight of myself and improving it.