Aisha Omar
Jul 25, 2017 · 2 min read

East vs West:

There is a part of me that wants to break free from my Eastern identity and become what I have dreamed of becoming. A young woman who is a mum and also has been educated in western countries and still studying. Worker hard my entire life to please others around. Did the passing of someone from family member give me a power to speak out? But yet here I am fighting with two different worlds that could be mixed; but I am unable to because I have different people pulling different directions. It has been fighting battle that I have struggled with. surely fighting with every ounce of energy in my body hurts me everyday.

I am having pull myself out of bed for the sake of my kids…because otherwise I feel that they will think there mum has given up the will to live and they will be stuck just like me.

Even though I keep on making this difficult decision to break free and become the 50/50 I have wanted to become but why can’t I let the certain go? Am I going to be stuck in this hell hole for the rest of life?

Could my dreams come to true and could I become the entrepreneurial woman that I wanted to be and yet be social Scientists?

Sometimes I also wonder if am just here to dream and is this dream nightmare that I can’t get out?

I adore my kids, they are my world but there is the thought that I am not good enough for them; the feeling that they deserve better mum and a good role model that they can look up to.

I hope I can get out of this ridiculous situation.

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