Jonathan Sharp- Unsplash

Let’s Talk About — —“Gaslighting”.

6 things to look out for.

“That thing you said the other day really got to me and I couldn’t talk about it at the time because I couldn’t think straight” she said sobbing. You see, she had tried to get past it but it still wasn’t working and as a result it hurt her even more everyday.

Her friend looks at her with the straightest of looks and asked, “Is that why you’re crying? If you had told me back then I would have taken you more seriously but now…yeah”.

I only recently learned the term “Gaslighting” and have since been making a conscious effort to notice when a person tries to “gaslight” me. I have been in several situations like this that made me question my sanity and intuition.

From a few of these situations, I have been able to figure out a few warning signs that you are being “gaslit”.

  • Confusion.

The gaslighter thrives on confusion. Their goal is to leave you questioning everything so that you constantly have to come to them to make sense of everything.

  • Questioning Emotions

The gaslighter tells you that you’re too emotional or sensitive about everything which in turn makes you doubt your emotional stability. When something hurts and you cry or go on a rant, they complain about how soft you are .

  • Lone Lamb

They are most times only gaslighting you in a certain environment, so when you suddenly notice something off with their character and try to talk to someone else about it, they deny it and laugh it off and those around you never believe you because they don’t see it.

  • Mixed Signs

As mentioned earlier, the gaslighter thrives on confusion. Their words and actions often don’t match. Their actions matter more than their words so that is what you should look out for.

  • Devalue and Value.

The gaslighter cuts you down by making you feel unworthy of certain things. They use the things dear to you as ammo and tell you you’re undeserving of them because of one flaw or another.

And then turn around when they are starting to lose your attention by praising you over something you did which often times only benefits them.

  • Reverse Gratitude.

They pretend not to appreciate the nice things you do for them and make you question why you did them in the first place only to turn around and reap the goodness of these nice things.

These are only a few things that I have picked up from my experiences and I know I can’t be the only one. I hope this helps you figure it out before it goes far to dwindling your self esteem and making you question your sanity.

With love,

From Aisha.