2015 was an extremely different year for me.
I lost a lot and gained a few new perspectives. I experienced the notion of life always changing and no matter what I will ride the winds of change, whether I like it or not. I learned that I need to grow with change and I need to grow up, not down. a part of growing and maturing is learning to adapt to new situations without being an overly anxious emotional wreck. a part of growing up is learning to not really care what other people have to say about how you dress, speak, think, and act. you have to love and accept your unique self and really accept that nobody is like you and that is okay. a part of growing up is learning to start saving your own money and stop spending it on temporary highs because one day you’re gonna want your own home and living off mom and dad won’t be an option. I learned that you don’t need to drink and party every weekend to have a good weekend. I learned that I value my time alone and I have no problem eating alone, shopping alone, sleeping alone, or being away from my phone for hours. I actually started to leave my phone in my car while I was in class so I can focus more, engage with others more, and be more present. I learned that you don’t have to put everything you do on the internet and privacy should still be valued. I learned that text messages are just text messages and sometimes people may get offended when I don’t answer them and I don’t really care. if you need to speak with me, you can call me or visit me, I don’t have the energy to sit around on my phone and catch up with my 400+ contact list. I’m not a bitch for that. I’m just living my life and you should be living yours too. I learned that sometimes you just need to stop trying to control the outcome of moments in your life and just let everything ride itself out. only control what you can control. I learned being lazy is really such a damn disease. if you want something you have to put in the work to have it. nobody is going to hand you whatever it is that you want. you need to get out there and work for it. I have a lot more to learn and I’m looking forward to it. I dabbled in a lot of different creative mediums this year and I completed a full year of my return to college. my only sincere goals for this upcoming year is to read more, listen to more music, finish my time at Berkeley college, save save save save more money, and do whatever makes me happy. I also need to pray more. I know it sounds cliche, but I really do. I don’t think many people stop and think about their geniune purpose on earth, they just create theirs and make tons of plans even though life never really goes according to plan and we never really know what encounters we will face a week or a year from today. but I’m going to pray more because I want more signs from my creator, I really do. I want signs of what my true callings are and I want more knowledge and wisdom. I want direction. I also want to pray for the world and for humans in general. I have a lot to say to my divine creator. I’m gonna spend 2016, talking to the divine a lot.