My Life Online

I started blogging before it was even “a thing.” It was 1999 and I was either 11 or 12 depending on the month — who can remember that far? I’d always loved writing as a child, so when I got a computer I used it to write. I put my writing online. And over time I began teaching myself HTML and CSS to make my blog pretty.

Blogging was a pretty niche interest back then. The majority of the people I “met” were teenaged girls like myself: a bit nerdy and maybe a bit lonely. We told stories about our day and made friends on forums. Our blog designs featured collages of our favourite celebrities to mirror our own bedroom walls.

I loved blogging and I loved learning how to design my blog. I became very briefly “famous” for my design work, and decided to pursue it in post secondary. Near the end of my studies, I took a small break from blogging.

When I came back as a fresh young professional working in a web agency, blogging had changed. It was when the present day powerhouses like Zoella were starting to become known. Blogs were shifting from diary-like formats to much more polished spaces. Soon a select few could make money from their writing careers, though many still lived in their childhood bedrooms.

I was not one of these people. Over the years, my blog has varied in popularity. I get occasional products sent to me, or the odd event invite. But I also have days where the views are barely over 50, and the majority of my traffic is coming from some review I wrote ages ago that still gets a few queries on Google.

There are things I love to do online. I love using Twitter to chat to people (many of them bloggers). And I love Instagram since I love photography. But do I love blogging? I’m not really sure.

It’s hard to feel motivated to do something when you feel like an equal result would occur if you just typed it all into a text file and never showed anyone. As much as bloggers insist on not doing it for the views, it’s nice to know that your effort is being appreciated and acknowledged.

I want to be the sort of blogger that schedules posts and takes stunning photography to match witty words, so that is what I try to do. But is anyone seeing it? Much of my research points to no. Is it because I’m not a very good blogger? Or do I need to work harder to make myself known in such a saturated environment?

I’ve been doing some soul searching as well as sounding off on Twitter and I have a few ideas floating around in my head. For the first step, I’d like to give myself until the end of the year. I’d like to try putting my “all” into it and see if my attitude, and audience, are affected.

Then, we will see.

I must admit that I’ve enjoyed writing into this blank page here on Medium. And maybe I’m not meant to be a blogger, but I (still) think I’m definitely meant to write.