I’m a bartender, guys. Says so in my profile.
Before I was a bartender, however, pretty much everything I knew about cocktails I had learned from watching Casino Royale.
Don’t listen to Bond, by the way. You should absolutely stir a martini, although perhaps this is because Bond’s drink of choice features vodka as the main spirit and not the classic gin.
I’m The Average Joe, and here are five cocktails that I make all the time, and how to try one for yourself:
5. Espresso Martini
The first thing I discovered after becoming a bartender was that the classic martini is nowhere near as popular as I thought it was. At least not where I work.
The coffee version is a far more sought-after product, which, like James Bond’s features vodka as the main spirit. Vodka is typically made from grains (Grey Goose), but can also be made from potatoes or even grapes (Ciroc).
It has a neutral flavour, especially compared to a fragrant and aromatic spirit like gins, which are made from Juniper berries, which means it tastes like what it’s mixed with. This is probably why vodka is such a common denominator in “spirit-and-mixer” drinks.
Vodka Lemonade, Vodka Cranberry, Vodka Orange — works with everything.
Espresso Martini combines 50mls of vodka with 25mls of Kahlua, a popular coffee liqueur, a shot of espresso and a dash (12.5 mls) of simple syrup, which you can buy from pretty much any supermarket or even make at home.
Shake the cocktail over ice, double strain into a chilled martini glass or coupe, and enjoy. Usually, this drink is garnished with a few coffee beans sitting on the foamy top (or even a sprinkle of cinnamon or nutmeg), but I’ve also seen it just drank straight. However you want to have it is how you want to have it — there is no cocktail police!
4. Long Island Iced Tea
If you’re talking about bang for your buck, Long Island is probably the way to go when out on the town.
The reason I say out on the town is because making this cocktail at home — depending on budget — could get costly.
Long Island Iced Tea combines five base spirits (vodka, gin, white rum, blanco tequila and triple sec or Cointreau) with lemon juice, optional sweetener and topped with cola. Realistically, you can pick up a bottle of any of these spirits for anywhere between £10-£25 which could end up being closer to £60 when all is said and done!
Simply combine 10 or 12mls of your spirits in a container (can use a shaker if preferred), add 25 mls of lemon juice and a dash of your sweetener (simple syrup), strain into a glass and add cola. If, like me, you can’t stand cola, there is a variation of this drink called the “Long Beach Iced Tea” that replaces the cola with cranberry juice.
Tip: Using two straws in cocktails reduces your oxygen intake without lowering your alcohol intake — gets you drunk quicker👀.
3. Amaretto Sour
Amaretto is an Italian liqueur made from (usually) almonds.
There’s a bit of apprehension surrounding “sour” cocktails, as they tend to contain a measure of raw egg whites — this is what gives them a silky smooth taste and foamy top, and as long as you don’t drink a thousand of them in a day, should be perfectly safe.
Then again, if anyone were to drink one thousand cocktails in a day, I think food poisoning would be the least of their worries!
The interesting thing about “egg white cocktails” is that they should be shaken without ice first before adding ice and shaking again afterward in order to emulsify the egg white and create the signature foamy top. This is known as a “dry shake”.
Don’t make my mistakes — be careful shaking a two-part shaker with no ice in there, as it’s prone to come unsealed in your hands. With two-part shakers, it’s the ice inside that lowers the temperature and creates that vacuum seal.
A room temperature cocktail shaker is about as secure as a twelve-year-old’s Facebook password — it’s just a matter of time!
Combine 25 mls of lemon juice with your optional dash of sweetener, 25 mls of egg white (which can be bought from the store or separated from an egg yolk at home) and 40–50 mls of amaretto liqueur such as Disaronno. Some recipes combine amaretto liqueur with a small measure of bourbon whiskey added, possibly as a nod to the famous alternative to this drink, the Whiskey Sour.
Add a few dashes of Angostura Bitters, either to the foamy top of the drink or into the shaker itself, strain into a rocks glass over ice or a chilled coupe glass, and enjoy. Popular garnishes include an orange or lemon wedge, or even a few cherries speared onto a cocktail stick.
Personally, I’ve always seen it as a sly way to sneak fruit into people’s diets so they can trick themselves into thinking that knocking back bottomless mimosas is healthy.
2. Old Fashioned
Like the gin martini, the Old Fashioned is a very “spirit-forward” cocktail, meaning most of it is spirit with only a few additions so as to not over-tamper with the flavour.
Traditional Old Fashioneds combine a generous measure of bourbon whiskey or rye whiskey (although I’ve seen both used) with sugar or sugar syrup and ice. Bourbon is a type of American whiskey made from at least fifty-one percent corn, and I’m sure you can guess what rye whiskey is made from.
The components of the Old Fashioned are added into a mixing glass along with a few dashes of Angostura Bitters, stirred together until the cocktail is sufficiently-chilled and then strained into a rocks glass over ice and with a twist of orange peel. It’s simple, it’s cost-effective and it’s a must for whiskey lovers.
Bartender’s suggestion: Try with Bulleit Bourbon or Maker’s Mark.
1. Pornstar Martini
Easily the most popular drink I’ve served.
Invented in London in 2002 by Douglas Ankrah, the Pornstar Martini has two basic ingredients — vanilla-flavoured vodka and passion fruit.
I’ve seen some versions made with lime juice also, but the most common formula calls for 50mls of Smirnoff Vanilla or Absolut Vanilla, 15mls of Passoa passionfruit liqueur, 50mls of passionfruit juice and 25mls each of passionfruit syrup and puree shaken over ice and double strained into a chilled martini glass.
Yeah, it’s a lot of passionfruit. A lot.
Always served with half a passionfruit as garnish and a shot of Prosecco on the side, whipping up a good Pornstar Martini at a house party will certainly go a long way to impressing the boss you invited over for dinner. But even if you hate everybody in your office, the cocktail works by itself as an aperitif, or an after-dinner indulgence.
How you like it is how you like it — I already said, there’s no cocktail police!
The above pictures were not taken by me. I found them on Google. I would have used pictures of cocktails that I made personally, but I don’t carry my phone/camera at work.
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