Today’s lesson was on experiencing God as a couple. Again, I really liked it. I thought he had some good insights and I finished the lesson thinking differently (or at least questioning my previous thinking) on a number of things regarding marriage and serving God.

I have a quick story to tell, as a little background, and then I just want to share/record a couple of things Blackaby said that really stuck with me.

On Tuesday of this week, during my Bible study at church, Landon texted me and asked me if I wanted him to sign me up to go to the IF:Gathering conference in Austin next February. Part of me, after looking at all of the amazing women who will be there leading it, wanted to say yes. Truthfully, I almost did. I actually did. Then, I took it back. By the time I was able to call Landon about it, he wasn’t able to chat with me about it or register me, so the ball was in my court. He told me that he would be fine either way.

I looked over the website again, began praying about it, and knew in my gut that it wasn’t where I was supposed to be. We first heard about the IF: Gathering at Idea Camp last year when Jennie Allen spoke and it looks awesome. But something about it being all women, only for women, just rubs mea weird way. I’m not saying that anything is wrong about it, but I just have this feeling, and have for a while, that Landon and I are meant to do something together. And me going off to a women only conference, with women I don’t know or live near, to be empowered to lead, just doesnt’ seem to fit into the picture. More and more, I’m learning that often things aren’t right or wrong, but that God leads different people and different families to do different things.

As I was sitting in my car praying about whether or not to sign up, I just felt this clear sense that I didn’t need to go. It felt like God was telling me that this wasn’t it, that whatever work He’s doing in Landon and I, he’s doing in us together. And so, that’s what I texted him.

Then, later that afternoon, I was browsing the IF website, just making sure it sold out. I happened to click on the IF: Local tab, where they encourage women to sign up to host IF:gatherings in their home, streaming the conference. Just about as strongly as I felt God saying no earlier that day, I felt Him say yes. It was the first time I’ve felt a yes regarding anything about the IF conferences, which is weird because normally I think it’s something I’d be all about. It’s interesting though because if I host an IF: Local event, while I would still technically be the one doing it, it would be an “us” thing still. It would involve our friends, our family and our church. It would be something we’d be doing together.

Honestly, I’m still working to figure out how to hear and follow the Holy Spirit’s voice. I’m still struggling at times with how to follow an invisible God. I’m still learning how to do all of this. But, what I keep coming back to is that, at the end of it all, you have to just choose to believe. You can talk yourself out of things God is leading you to because, by the world’s wisdom, it is foolishness—or you can choose to believe. I feel like this is an instance when God is asking if I believe He is real and if I believe He still leads us and speaks to us.

So, that’s been rolling around in my head this week. And then, today’s lesson was on experiencing God in marriage. And, because he often says things way better than I could, I just want to share a couple of Blackaby’s points.

“As you yield your life to the Lord, He can take your similarities and differences and maximize your usefulness as a couple for His kingdom.”

“When God intended to use an ordinary life like mine, He chose to match my life with a life partner perfectly suited to me and God’s direction for my life.”

“For me to fulfill God’s will for my life, I would require a life partner with a unique calling of her own. Now, He just had to get the two of us together!”

“Once couples come to understand God’s purposes for their marriages, they discover a new and exciting dimension to their lives together.”

“Marriage is a God’s joining together a man and a woman to create a union through which He can accomplish His purposes and be glorified. Marriage is not merely a human contract or agreement. It is a divine creation. God has a special purpose for each couple He unites. He is so committed to the sanctity of marriage that He hates divorce.”

“What does it mean to be one flesh? It implies that your life is not your own. You are not two separate individuals trying to work out a co-existance. You are one. When your spouse feels pain, you suffer too. When your spouse experiences spiritual victory, you are victorious as well. When God has a plan for the wife, it means God’s activity will affect the husband.”

“You are one flesh. If God has spoken to your spouse, He has just spoken to you. Because you are one flesh, you need to adjust your life to a word God speaks to your partner. Pray together and trust God to bring clarity and assurance about the direction of His calling. Then, you can walk together with confidance.”

“The spiritual intimacy you have with your spouse will affect your walk with God.”

“Together we hear far more from God than we do separately.”

“When we review our spiritual markers as a couple, we can respond to each new invitation God gives us because we have a clear sense as a couple of the way God has led us to this point in our lives.”

“God has called all of us to be on mission with Him. One of the first places we must seek His activity is in the life of the person we are most intimately related to. If God has given you a life partner, you will want to be involved in the great work God intends to do in his or her life.”

Today felt like a confirmation of what I’ve been feeling this week. I’m thankful for the ways Blackaby speaks very bluntly about how a word from God to your spouse is the same as a word from God to you, because the two of you are one. Among other things, I’m thinking on that as I go to bed tonight, and the oneness that implies between a husband and a wife. I’m thankful for the man God has joined me together with, to be on mission for Him with—and excited to see where He calls and leads us.