Somehow I doubt your relationships with women would be greatly improved if you were just “permitted…
Megan G
2

Notice the ruthless “get help” term is used sarcastically, as an insult, rather than a “do you need help?” question. This is how men are treated. When someone says “you need help” to a man, what they always really mean is “you are walking the line dangerously close to being useless and disposable. You better fix yourself, or we will get rid of you.”

In using the expression that way, you are exercising your power as a female to shame, exclude, and claim the right to social support, all at the same time. “Get help” implies (1) that I need help and (2) that you are not only not going to help me, but you’re ordering me to go away and do more work finding help for myself. It is quite simply a display of social hierarchy. You are above me on the social benefits hierarchy, and you are kicking down.

If I were to tell a woman “get help” I’d be a fucking asshole who was ignoring a woman’s clear need for help. Because she is above me on the social benefits hierarchy; I’m not supposed to get any benefits from society until she’s fully satisfied.

Men like me who suggest men really DO need help are constantly shamed and called “broken”. Saying “you need help” is literally a condemnation for men. Men are expected to give help, always, not need help.

You of course dismiss the possibility that maybe women shouldn’t be abusive toward men. I’m equally happy with one of two options: Either allow me to hit women, or forbid women from hitting me with the same harsh “it’s never OK” social stigma that men face for hitting women.

But I’m shamed just for pointing out that women hit men and treat them terribly, and there are no consequences. Just as you did. Your attitude is toxic toward males, because it shames them for having feelings and complaining about one-sided abuse.

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