So out of the four males, you disagree with half of them. Of those two, I disagree with one, and sort of disagree with the other.
I think Dad Number One was a slave, despite your observation that he left and didn’t pay support. The mother worked long hard hours but she got to keep everything. She kept the house, the kids, etc., that they’d worked together for for a quarter century. Father just disappeared.
The “mother” in this story sounded like a true nightmare to deal with. Dad ran, and never saw his kids again. How bad does your life have to be to walk away from everything you worked for? I’d wager pretty damn bad.
There is huge condemnation of men in modern society for simply giving up and running away when the situation is too miserable. This is in large part due to discounting how miserable men’s lives really are.
As for the second husband, I I paid less attention to him, because his story is so subjective. It’s highly doubtful we’re getting a straight story there. What kind of medical doctor marries a guy who hasn’t graduated high school and lets him live off of her? There was something going on here that we’re not being told. Of course he’s going to be called lazy, etc., by his step kids. Men are generally treated terribly and only appreciated when the money is flowing rapidly.
Also, frankly, he sounds like a normal wife. When a woman with a low education and no job marries a doctor and spends his money, that’s just the way it is. If a man does that, I’m certainly not going to condemn him for taking advantage of a system that is almost always rigged against men.
But of course others will always condemn. When a woman gets support, it’s because she deserves it. When a man gives support it’s because he owes it. Conversely, when a woman supports a man she’s wonderful and marvelous and he’s incredibly lucky and owes her big time. When a man takes support from a woman, it’s because he’s a lazy miscreant.