I've Never Been In A Relationship Before

Being single doesn't mean there’s something wrong with us. There isn't. We’re just aware of what we want and we know that the guys who have asked us out in the past aren't meant for us. We know the difference between a real relationship and a hook-up. We are smart.

We don’t need to be in a relationship to be a legitimate adviser on love. Some people might not take our advice and think, “Who are you to tell me that? Who are you to tell me what to do? You don’t even have a boyfriend, so how do you know what love is?”

You know, we don’t need experience for us to know what to do in certain situations. We might have more knowledge about love than our friends that are currently in relationships.

We aren't picky, or at least not completely. We’re just sure of what we want. Since we were on the outside for many years, watching other people who were in relationships, people who were in love, people who were broken into pieces, we know where things are going.

We know the drill. We know the rules. We know how men move. We know a lot more than you do. We see the things you don’t see in your relationships. We see the things you choose to close your eyes to. And because of that, we choose not to be in unhealthy relationships. We choose to be single.

If we wanted to, we could get a boyfriend in a day. But we choose not to. We have been waiting all our lives to date, so we don’t want to waste our time with a relationship we know won’t last. And we are not judging here, we just know. Again, trust us, we know it more than you.

And please, please, stop telling us to wait. Wait for that special guy. Wait for your one true love. If all we had to do was wait to get what we wanted, then why did we have to study to land our dream job? Why did we even need to apply for a job if it would miraculously appear in front of us? Don’t be corrupted by the system of fairy tales. They aren't real.

The truth is, if you don’t work for something, you’re not going to have it. If you just wait for that dream man of yours, he’s not going to come to your front door. If you don’t make an effort to find him, he’s not going to be in your kitchen tomorrow making pomegranate.

One day, when we think that we've finally found the right guy for us, we will date him. And he won’t be jealous over the exes we've never had. We’ll only have him. From day one, it will only be him.


Originally published at thoughtcatalog.com on August 16, 2016.