5 Types of Coaching Questions that Will Give You a Terrible Reputation

You want to be a brilliant coach.

You want to be someone who offers support, focus, direction and strategy to your clients. You want to be the sort of coach who creates real forward movement and momentum in your clients’ lives.

To be a brilliant coach, to be the best you can be and bring out the best in your clients, you need to know what to do and you need to know what NOT to do.

You already know that great coaching begins with asking the right questions. Good questions shine a light on the journey to self realisation and discovery.
Bad questions can push your clients into a corner, cause them to play small and make them feel overwhelmed by self doubt and fear.

Keep asking bad questions and they’ll cost you your reputation, as a good coach.

The good news is you don’t have to shoot in the dark and play “hit or miss” with bad coaching questions. Take a look at this list so you’re clear about the 5 types of questions to avoid.

Bad Coaching Q #1: Don’t Start With Why

The ubiquitous, “why”. This is a question that appears to be harmless enough but if you’ve ever answered a child’s “why”; you’ll know how exasperating it can be.

The truth is, “why” can easily be seen as an inflammatory type of question. Often, clients have no idea why they do what they do (or don’t do what they need to do).

So, asking “why”; during a coaching session can be overwhelming and stressful for your client. She might get annoyed or defensive. She might “shut down” and refuse to cooperate. These are not the reactions that you want.

So instead of asking “why”, carefully rephrase your enquiry. Instead of, “Why does that upset you?”; try asking, “What is it about this situation that you found upsetting?”

Simple switch but it’s powerful.

Bad Coaching Q #2: Don’t Go Rhetorical

Another type of question you should avoid is the rhetorical question. This is usually made as a statement more than anything. The answers to these types of questions are usually obvious, or often, answers aren’t needed at all.

“If you don’t have a plan, how will you get it done?”, “There is no point to it, is there?”, “Why do you keep doing it then?”.

Rhetorical questions are frustrating to your client. They’re judgmental and interpretive and can create discomfort especially if your client has just shared a very personal or challenging problem with you.

If you ever feel the need to ask a rhetorical question. Stop. Think about how you can rephrase it or just don’t ask at all.

Bad Coaching Q #3: Follow, Don’t Lead

This type of question will “lead” the client to a specific answer so there’s no room for authenticity. “Leading questions” often appear benign so you’ll need to watch carefully for this one.

“Do you have any problems with your boss?”
“You ignored the warning signs, didn’t you?”
“Have you tried asking for the extra time you need?”

When you ask a leading question, you’re pushing the client in the direction that you think he should go.

You are not allowing your client to make decisions for himself. It’s disempowering and inauthentic and you certainly don’t want either one of these elements in your coaching sessions.

Bad Coaching Q #4: Closing the End

Good coaches avoid this one like the plague. Close-ended questions are probably the worst kind of questions you can ask in a coaching session.

These are the questions that have “yes” or “no” as an answer.

No good coach will settle for a “yes” or “no” response. You need to go deep and you need to get to know your clients to get them the results they want. Yes or no answers won’t get you there.

Bad Coaching Q #5: The Roundabout Route

These are long-winded and complicated questions. Clarity is everything when you’re working with a client.

You may be tempted to ask a long question or a set of questions at the same time. Doing either of these will land you in the “Coaches Hall of Shame”. Long, complicated questions will make your clients feel confused and uncertain, and this is the exact opposite of what you want to achieve with a client.

The key is to keep it simple. Always ask just one question and give your client time to respond. Don’t feel awkward when you come up against long silences and pauses.

Allow your client the time and space to dig deep and come up with authentic answers that will help get closer to his goals.

There’s no question…
Questions can make or break a coaching session. When you ask better questions, your clients get better results and when they do, you’ll get to be what you want to be…

A brilliant coach.

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