Part I : Introduction of Thoughts (Will it vanish or Establish)

24 September 2017, 11:48 am.

Took my night medicine to slow down my thoughts. 2 weeks has gone with prescribed routine i’ve been doing, and i decided to put down some words rather than fighting with my racing minds, or wrestle with fear, even engage with constant anxiety.

30 years old in few weeks, can i fix this? will i get trough this phase? or this is something i should live with forever?

A questions i had in mind from time to time. Another second and I’m back conversing with anxiety or fear of nostalgic moment simply pops up, again and again. Sorry but this relationship that my mind has is too strong to be put aside. I forgot when is the last time my mind is not occupied or rest.

I decided yesterday i will try to write down my thoughts somewhere, somewhere it could be read and share, i know either this will be another scrap in the digital sphere, or at least someone with like minded can read it and not feel alone (at least is another set of therapy for me).

14 hours from meeting my shrink, a middle age woman a certified hypnotherapist, looking forward for this appointment like a milestone of the week, At least it made me feel better. Yes i do seek professional help, i think i’m done with self medicating for years, it only made it worse.

Yes sometimes i live my day in hours basis, in result of my overthinking and over analyze mind that scrutinize my moments of life… need to be more laid back.

Worry less, Stop checking work emails like it was a life and death matter, stop thinking about Q4 targets, ease up! live a little, regret less, forgive myself, let go of the past…I wish my mind would let me. cliche yet so hard to do.
Is this a habit? or i’ve been hard wired to be like this ever since?

Well let’s wrapped this as the first encounter of our first introduction of thoughts. will it vanish or establish?