I can’t believe I’m writing these words. Saying it out loud and putting it down on paper makes it real. A reality that I’m still fighting against. In truth, we have about a month or two of runway and I’m still looking for ways to save this operation, but the odds are not good.
Three years of time and energy vaporized.
Guilt
In the words of Kevin O’Leary, I murdered money. $757,000 of it to be exact. Worse, it was other people's hard earned dollars — my angels. It sucks to have sold so many people on a grand vision and not deliver.
This is my first major failure. An utterly humbling experience. I’ve already let our investors know, but they were prepared. They’ve been nothing but gracious through our multiple pivots and now this.
My wife has always been supportive of my unconventional career path. Even when I burned through a big chunk of our savings, she cheerfully supported my efforts. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life.
Fear
What now?
In the last three and half years I’ve broadened my skills to include digital marketing, sales, contract negotiations, fundraising, product management, recruiting, persuasion and more.
Jack of all trades and master of none.
Few entrepreneurs consider where their career will go post startup failure. After a grueling startup experience, you are not even the same person anymore. For the first time in my life I don’t have a plan.
Mistakes
A million mistakes, or just one, million dollar mistake.
Didn’t raise enough, targeted the wrong user, built the wrong product, chased traction desperately, terrible go to market strategy, etc etc…
All of the above are true, but they derive from one arrogant belief that I could do it all. Everything from coding to selling and anything in between.
The one man wrecking machine.
As a result, I didn’t raise enough which lead to desperation for traction which cascaded into a series of further mistakes.
Successful companies are built by teams of talented people. Talent that I took for granted. I am humbled.
I write about the real real of startups from my actual real time experience. Also, checkout Lodr.io for your data prep needs. Follow me on twitter @ajoabraham
