A Strange Time To Work For The Dead — Mop Swingers: Episode 40.
The continuing true story of mop swinging brothers, Adam and Peter, trying to make it in the movie business.
Adam and Peter drive through the city that turns intellect to food. Peter stops the van at the gate of the Chrysler dealership.
Adam puts on his winter hat. “I thought that movie, Paranormal Activity was lame.”
Peter also puts on his winter hat. “I think I have a point. That movie worked when I saw it way back when it came out.”
They carry the equipment across the wind swept parking lot. “Not scary at all. Or even competently made.”
Once inside, the flies take flight.
Adam kicks a nest of maggots. “I think it will have a shorter life span than clothing at target.”
Peter travels further down the unfrequented path. “What does it mean to be scary? I mean it worked. You’re just a contrary mother fucker.”
Adam drops a scary mess into a garbage bag. “It doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
Peter sees the rats. He stops himself from shaking. “It was no The Ninth Gate, that’s for damn sure. It’s not scary. But it is intriguing.”
Adam hears a score of sewer rats on some kind of obscure mission in the drainpipe. “To me, fear, is anticipating something unspeakable will happen, then, even though you’re telling yourself it won’t happen, it happens in an even worse way. I still find The Thing scary.”
Peter unlocks the supply closet. “Okay, the thing, not scary, but a beautiful horror movie. My blood pressure doesn’t go up. But I watch it all the way through whenever it comes on TV.”
Adam sees what he thinks is a boll weevil. “I like horror movies, but they have to work as a real movie as well.”
No matter how hard he works, around the clock, the mess seems to grow around Peter. “That would be cool to make a horror franchise and then just license the work out to your less talented friends.”
Adam begins the nightly battle against the toxic army. “You know, I think also the main thing that gets me scared is if I can see the characters are justifiably scared. I think it is usually better to show the terrified face of the hero most of the time, than the monster.”
Peter starts at the other side, attempting a flanking maneuver. “I agree. You have to knock the audience off their feet. Instead of this torture movie nonsense, take it back to the old Hammer Film days. Like… The Mummy! I can see it now.”
Adam drags a torn garbage bag across the floor. It leaks an unspeakable ooze. “I’m usually on board, but I don’t know about this Mummy idea. Seems very easy to defeat.”
Peter takes care of it before it codifies. “It is a movie that has not been done right… Ever!”
Adam arms himself for conflicts beyond the horizon. “It is hard to make good movies about an old guy walking around in dirty pajamas.”
Peter dumps Ammonia on a hazard area. “I’m telling you. Opening frame: by the Nile river. Doors are smashed. Crypts are unsealed. Things get worse from there.”