“Give Them One Hour To Work The Lurid Circle.”Mop Swingers: Episode 55.
The continuing true story of mop swinging brothers, Adam and Peter, trying to make it from Detroit, to the movie business
When he gets to work, Adam buys a pack of Skittles. When he sees Peter he eats the last one.
Peter extends his hand. “Can I have one?”
Adam shakes his head. “Sorry bro. Last one.”
Peter can hardly accept the disrespect. The endless lampooning of the mop swingers, by the day-time employees was bad enough. If they didn’t look out for each other, who would? No one, that’s who.
Adam gets drenched in the blood of unlucky rodents that slipped into the compactor when he empties the disposal bin. “Did you watch any good movies last night?
After Peter stops laughing, he stops himself from hyperventilating by blowing in one of the smaller sized, black garbage bags. “No, I have been up to my armpits it editing Roger footage.”
The restaurant of mysterious origin across the street, has been dumping the entrails of whatever kind of animals they cook over there, in the dealership’s dumpster. Their place is overflowing with death. So much, that they can’t get rid of it fast enough. Of course, there is nothing else that can happen, but a pile of guts unexpectedly falling on Adam. Another isolated indignity, among millions. “I don’t even look at movie websites anymore because they all seem to be written by the same lame people. Whatever happened to the golden age of C.H.U.D.com, and Aint It Cool News? Of course Siskel and Ebert are rolling in their graves.”
Peter can’t even laugh this time. His brother looks like the victim of a WW1 style shelling. “I can’t think of a critic breathing, that is worth a damn. They’re fancy pants. All of them.”
Adam ventured on the precarious weekly mission of cleaning, “the back,” of the dealership. It is a foreboding place, with shadows that create themselves. “Film criticism is at an all time low, that’s for damn sure. Reviews all seem to be written by that woman from The Simpson’s who always said, “Think of the children!”
Some day-time employee must have snapped, because one of the large clocks seems to have been hurled at the wall, and lay in a broken heap on the floor. Peter sweeps away the pieces of the lost keepers of time. “How you even pretend to care, when you know the academy itself doesn’t care? Most of the members let their kids pick, while wearing a blindfold. It’s like any other idiotic award show.”
Adam looks through the lunchroom window, at the city of purposes long forgotten. “I was listening to an interview with that actor that played Avon, in, “The Wire.” He has been around a lot of big names if you think about it. He was, “Birdie,” in, “Above The Rim.” Above. The. Rim, dog. Recently he was in a straight to video Jimmy Hendrix movie. And shortly after filming, he tells the story of the time he met Prince. Prince pops up. Pow. He asks, “Do you know who’s suit this is?” It was a very obscure type of suit, but I just happened to play Jimmy Hendrix, so I happened to know. Before I could answer, Prince disappears. Poof! Few hours later, he appears again, says, “Well?” I said, “That’s the suit Jimmy Hendrix wore before he went to court.” Prince said, “That’s right.”