Have you ever wonder yourself drowning from the thoughts that’s killing you???
I always trying to be the best thing that I could be. Trying to be the best version that I might be. Trying to do the things that may help to improve myself, communicate and impressed others, but always ending up to failure and hopelessness.
As my day starts, same old routines are my daily things. Going to school the whole day, making school works and coming home at night. I know that everything that I do today will going to be worth it in someday. But sometimes, I leaving a question mark in my stupid little mind, if I can do literally what future holds in me.
I doubt my ability to all the things that I know I can’t, and leads me to nothing but a failure.
I’d always lifting up myself every time I fall nor stumbled. I’d let myself to not be bait to all the negative thoughts, and let it kept all the inspirational quotes I’ve had read that may help me to find my old lost self, but still, I fall all over and over again…
How do I find my lost self if even all the people around me keep drownin’ me? People who should help me to stand and reach up but nothing to do is to let me fall even deeper.
My deepest imagination leads me to suicidal, but afraid to do it so…
I’d let myself to put in my mind on what beyond future will might go in me, despite on my absences of hope. To think all the beautiful dreams I made, all the travel list I bear in my mind, and all the risk that I took for so long.
I know that life is beautiful and I’m aware of that. Struggles are just a weak forces to smashing up my whole lost self.
“I know that someday, somehow, I will certainly meet my lost self of mine.”