When I was diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatitis.
My life changed when I was diagnosed with
chronic calcific pancreatitis as I turned 20. At that
time I did not even know our body had an organ
Though the disease did not hit me suddenly. I have
had stomach pains from the age of 5. The pain would
often come and go; all the time doctors were unable to
figure out why I had stomach pain.
I had accepted it and was trying to live my life as
normally as possible with the wavering pain.
But after my 20th birthday things took a turn for
worst. My pain had become so bad that I could not
even take a single bite of my food, let alone walk.
I would scream in pain begging god to kill me.
Seeing my serious pain the doctors made me
get a MRI scan done of my whole abdomen. Seeing
the reports the doctor realised I had Chronic calcific
pancreatitis with a cyst at the tail of pancreas. In simple
words my pancreas had thousands of small stones in
it, which were blocking the main duct of pancreas and
because of the block the fluid from pancreas had been
collected to form a cyst near the pancreas. The stones
could not be removed; there was no cure for this till
the time cyst was present. The doctor’s cannot even
touch my pancreas. They couldn’t even try to burst
the stones through electric shocks. So the only option
in front of me was bed rest.
As a solution doctors had put a feeding pipe
through my nose till my intestine bypassing my
stomach and pancreas so they don’t work. This would
make my pancreases absorb the cyst. There would be
no need for me to get operated if this worked. This
was my doctor’s plan of action.
Three months had passed since the food pipe was
connected to my large intestine. I had not tasted a
single bite of food from three months, as a result my
weight had come down to 45 Kgs from 60 Kgs. My
height is 6 feet. I had started to look like a skeleton
when I stood.
Whenever I would have to go out of the house
I would wear a mask such that people don’t see the
feeding tube as I am too conscious of my image. I
would only step out of the house to go to the doctors,
and as we did not own a car or rather could not afford
one. I would travel in public transport with the tube
hanging from my nose. I had to visit the doctor once
every week. I had a constant pain in my stomach. To
top it all off most of my friends had given up hope on
me, they did not even come to visit me at the hospital
even once, all my girlfriends too (yes I had 3 girlfriends
The funny thing is I did not have just 3–4 friends,
but in fact, I was one of the most popular guy in the
college. Everyone knew me. I was one of those guys
who had many contacts in the college. I had such good
contacts that even after not attending the college for
a whole semester I would get the hall ticket, while a
minister’s son couldn’t manage it.
At the beginning of my treatment I would cheer
myself up by thinking, may be my friends are busy
or maybe they think I can handle this situation, that’s
why they haven’t come to see me.
I would keep myself busy by playing games on
phone, sketching and also by being high on all the
painkillers that I was taking. I was going strong and
was trying to be cheerful. I was trying my very best,
not to give into the depressing thoughts. But soon
enough things started falling apart, I could not take
it anymore. Even my parents had started giving up
hope, that’s when we did the greatest mistake. This
was the moment when I first realised, how easy it was
to manipulate a person.
As normal human mentality goes, when we lose
hope on our reality we tend to find answer in god or
super natural powers. That’s exactly what my family
and I did. My uncle in my best interest took us to a
preacher who “supposedly” had healing powers.
We went to him a couple of times. I was impressed
as he had a good number of followers. Even though he
charged a lot for the healing, people would come to him
with problems and then they would go back happy.
I guess after 15 days of meeting him he told my
family and me to remove the feeding pipe.
We did so.
After that the preacher told me “you should go eat
something now in a nearby restaurant, you can eat
anything you want.”
I was scared but I was under his control. I did
exactly as he said.
I could eat half a Rava Dosa, and then I came back
to him and sat for the prayers.
That’s when I started having one of the worst
pains ever. My stomach was hurting. Even though I
did not have abs I had abs within a second I could feel
my stomach muscles contract and it had become rock
solid, so hard that my parents could actually see eight
pack. I was in serious pain; I was trying hard not to
scream as there were many people around.
But finally I screamed “Goood uffff, I can’t, please
I was very loud, everyone around stopped talking.
There was pin drop silence in the room.
The preacher asked “what happened? Why did
I could barely speak but even then I replied “Aahh
my stomach, it hurts, please do something.”
Preacher told “don’t worry son, god is healing
you right now and that is the reason you are having
this pain. If you can’t bare the pain then you should
take a pain killer and try to concentrate on praying
to the god.” He announced, “God is healing him” as
he showed everyone my 8 pack abs. He also told
everyone the louder we pray the faster I would heal.
My parents seemed to agree because they had seen
the condition of my stomach.
I guess because of the loud noise and the painkiller
my pain came down after 15 mins. I was mesmerized
by the preacher and his claims of god healing me.
Preacher called me and my parents to the side
after the prayer and told us “you guys can go home
now, the healing will take time come back tomorrow.”
On the way home I started feeling the pain again.
I took one more painkiller.
By the time I reached home, I was very dizzy as
well as tired. I fell asleep as soon as I lied down. The
next thing I remember is waking up with pain and
feeling nauseated. As I got up I realised, I could barely
walk. Somehow I managed to get to the washbasin
before I threw up, it was all very dark reddish colour.
This was the first time I had this colour vomit. I did not
think of it much as I was very dizzy and in very bad
pain even my parents did not give it much thought. I
went back to bed.
I just wanted the pain to stop. Whatever it may
take. Just need the pain to stop. I was rolling all over
the bed screaming and cursing god. Asking him to
take the pain away or take my life away. That’s when
I told my parents to give me another pain killer as it
would make me sleep. My mom seeing my condition
agreed and was about to give me another pain killer
that’s when my dad interrupted and told, “I will get a
doctor from the nearest clinic and ask him to give you
a pain injection. A very heavy painkiller injection.”
My dad left to get the doctor, that’s when I vomited
again but this time I vomited in a bucket, so the doctor
can see it.
The doctor was here. He saw my condition; he
gave me a pain killer injection. I was feeling very light
as well as very heavy at the same time. If you have
had weed and whiskey at the same time you would
understand my condition. After this I don’t remember
things clearly. But I remember doctor saying to my
parents “the vomit is actually blood, you guys should
take him to the hospital as soon as possible.”
So my parents called a cab and just before entering
the cab I vomited on the road. I have a blur memory
of vomiting in the cab too. I was taken to the hospital
emergency room. It was a Sunday night so all the
senior doctors were on leave.
As I was a regular patient with heavy pain. The
nurses were already prescribed with the treatment
which was supposed to be given to me.
I was admitted in the hospital immediately and
taken to the emergency room. A cannula was fixed on
my left arm; the nurse had started to take my blood
through the cannula for blood testing. Only few drops
of blood had come out, that’s when I fainted and as
much as I know this was the first time I fainted.
I woke up later in the ICU because I felt something
cold on my stomach. The assistant doctor was taking
an Ultrasound scan. I passed out again.
I woke up after a while again because I felt
something cold again on my stomach. A barber was
removing hair from my chest, stomach, and abdomen.I
was naked for the first time in front of a man, so I tried
to cover my private parts but I passed out again.
The next time I woke up, I was being rushed to
the operation theatre. I saw my parents also I saw my
cousin uncle and his wife (I don’t know when they
came). I also noticed that I had a cannula on my neck
which was connected to a blood bag.
“I guess they were finally going to clear the duct of
my pancreas.” I thought to myself.
I was in the operation theatre, nurses where
preparing to shift me to the operation bed (I still had
not realised how serious my condition was) so I told
them “I will shift by myself.” I got up from the stretcher
and lied down on the operation bed, nurses where
looking at me with shock. As I lied down and after
that one of the nurse locked my hands. That’s when
I got scared, I told the nurse “please before doing the
operation give me anaesthesia.”
She smiled at me and cleaned my stomach with
spirit. Doctors came in, there where around 4–5 of
them, I don’t remember clearly, after that one of the
doctor called out my name and told me to breath,
that’s the last thing I remember from the night.