$6 MILLION DOLLARS! HOORAH!!
Well, well.. well…. Apparently I have $6 MILLION!!! I was alerted to this sum of money earlier in the month, you can read about it here:
It is kind of a long read, but I assure, it’s kind of funny. However, that’s probably just me tooting my own horn. (“tooting” Yeah, I just used that word.)
A certain Rev.Dr. Robert A. Edison sent me an email today stating that my $6 million was returned! YAY!
Although, his email is kind of hard to make out. Let’s break it down shall we!?!
Hello Dear
(First off… Alert the comma police because this one is missing!)
Your $6 million usd was returned back,after arriving your country,we will send it back to you via ATM Card.i am the new CBN payment director foreign operations.
I don’t think that Rev. Dr. Robert A. Edison could be any more direct in his speaking, but there are a few things here…. hmm.. my money was returned after arriving? They will send it back to me via ATM card… He is the new CBN? What is CBN? Payment Director of Foreign Operations. I really don’t think that is such a thing. Overall sentence structure and grammar… epic fail, especially for a DOCTOR!
We recognized that the money was stopped at the airport in USA.After you were unable to meet up with custom clearing requirement to release your consignment box to the delivering diplomat.There after the consignment was returned back to the source of origin in NIGERIA ,and we have received your fund back.The total amount is $6 million usd.
Okay…. Does this person think that Alaska (assuming that they know my location, which they don’t. Hopefully…) is not part of the U.S? And of course I wasn’t able to meet up with the….. is “custom clearing requirement” a person? Did he mean this random “delivering diplomat?” I like how they capitalized “NIGERIA!” like that’s not suspicious at all. So far, what I understand is, my $6 million was stopped at the airport because I wasn’t there to meet with a diplomat so they sent the money back to NIGERIA! and now it’s back?
As the new payment director, I am ready to corporate with you to release this fund to you without any delay,only if you will follow my instruction.Because there is no reason for delaying this payment again.The formal Directors treated you badly by delaying this payment,and I have seen it from the record here on my desk.I will assist you.YOU DESERVE TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
I feel like all their employees to these random departments are all new. They must have really bad turnover. I wonder if they don’t get benefits or do they just get executed if people don’t reply to their emails? Anyways, He is ready to “Company” with me to release my “fund” like… fundamentals? BUT! Only if I follow his instruction… well… if my life is of any example… I probably wont. I’m not sure how there is a delay in my payment if I didn’t know that I had it? Oh, I love this part… the Formal Directors. Is their work attire black tie? That’d be hilarious and fabulous at the same time. Could you just imagine showing up to work everyday in a ball gown or a black tie suit with tails! Oh that’d be great, and also a great way to spend my $6 million. Ball gowns!! Ball gowns and suits for all!! I like that Dr. Robert’s evidence of them treating me badly was on his desk, I don’t remember getting treated badly in any way? And DAMN RIGHT I DESERVE TO RECEIVE MY PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Because we should all finish paragraphs off with a bang!
I hope your details still remain the same,as i will work to release your payment via atm card .I will register the ATM card with a recognize courier .You will receive this ATM Card in three working days.Email back once you receive this email: rev.robertaedison@gmail.com
My details? You mean like the color of my hair and stuff so you can steal my identity? I don’t think they really understand what an ATM card is, I think they’re talking about one of those refillable Visa gift card things, however I highly doubt that $6 million would fit on there? Do those Visa gift cards have limits? I’m going to google that.
Also… absolutely nothing takes three business days to get to Alaska. Unless it’s coming from Seattle… then maybe 2–3 days depending on weather.
Rev.Dr. Robert A. Edison
New CBN Payment Direct
Foreign Operations
Emphasis on New.
For some odd reason, I get these emails. Not just once in a blue moon, I mean like at least one every few months. I don’t know how they get my email. I never reply to any of them. But they’re a fun read.
*Insert cliche “click the little heart and read my other stuff” catch phrase in italics*
