Are you kidding me?!
Well… well… well…
Did I not say that I get these weird emails all the time. This one is just a bit overboard. Well, probably far overboard and drowning with out a floaty.
Am writing to you based on the recommendation of Almighty God Whom I so much believe in. WHOAH, hold the phone. That escalated quickly.
Good day to you my dear a day of love sound health,joy and favor and thanks so much for accepting my friend request and sorry to say if i intruded into your privacy. I’m no longer holding the phone, I’ve hung up and started questioning my sanity. What friend request? On Facebook? On Instagram? On Snapchat? On Twitter? Where are you trying to be my friend? Because…. I ain’t never seen your name before.
I am very sure you can make a lot of difference by replying to my mail, become good friends in our Lord and see that with greater power comes greater responsibility. OOOkay, Spiderman… Let’s get one thing straight, I am surely the last person known to man that would ever believe in any type of god or religion. Hi, my name is Caitlyn and I’m hateful and I like it.
You can make a lot of changes in the life of others with this great offer from the Lord through me to you. How about no.
My Dear Friend, I am very sure you can make a lot of difference by
replying to my mail, become good friends in our Lord Jesus Christ. You
can make a lot of changes in the life of others with this great offer
from the Lord through me to you , most especially the poor at heart,
and the less privileged. Wait a minute…… I just picked the phone back up and we’re on hold again…. Didn’t we just go over this? I pretty sure that Google translate has failed you, that or you just can’t read and write… or know what you just typed out. Do you not proof read?
Firstly, I think i would start all with a proper introduction of myself. Please don’t.
I am Mrs. Jnny Kossa,A widow to Late Moses Kossa. I am 65 years
old , suffering from long time cancer of the breast . Um, I guess you’re really going full proper with it.
From all indications, my condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I may not live more than two months according to my doctor , because the stage at which my cancer is (Level 4), it is so critical
and also to a very severe stage. It’s really obvious according to you that it’s critical and very severe.
My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than 2 months and I am so scared about it. Well… Most people would be. As humans, we fear death, unless your the Buddha.
My late husband and i both grew up in a motherless home in United States Of America, THE… THE UNITED STATES….. Also known as ‘Merica.
we got married and we spend years of our life in West Africa because My late Husband has a Textile Business in West Africa and And… And And, West Africa, and, I can’t speak like a normal person, and West Africa.
also we have no child of our own due to one problem and the other, And the other? I think you mean… due to one problem and another. I know, I know, the English language and our odd phrases… Why we’re not all boycotting English eludes me. However, English does provide us with some punny memes.
Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside
my matrimonial home which the Bible is against even though i wish i
had . It is late now you know, and age is no longer on my side.but i
still believe the lord will send me someone that will make me smile
which is you because the bible says in the book of; Lady, I’m a ginger, I have no soul and therefore I cannot be saved. If any type of god knew me, they’d hate me, except maybe Aries, God of War, but only the one depicted in Xena The Warrior Princess series, because you know, that guy was so hot.
Psalms 119:116 Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live, and
let me not ashamed of my hope.
Psalms 138: 7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou will revive me……
Psalms 145:18 Psalms 57: 7 My heart is fixed. O God my heart is fixed,
I will sing & give praise
Psalms 51: 17 The sacrifices of God are broken spirit, a broken &
contrite heart, O God thou will not despise.
psalms 41: 1 Blessed is he that considerate the poor, the Lord will
deliver him in time of trouble.
Two of my favorite verses: Philippians 2:27: For indeed he was sick
nigh unto death, but God had mercy on him & that on him only, but on
me also,lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.( I always say this in
my mind )
I’m no expert on the Bible, nor do I own one. Can someone here in the wonderous world of Medium, cross check these verses?
So, I now decide to give all of my wealth, by contributing to the
development of the motherless baby homes,less privileges, needy, poor,
charity homes,widows and Cancer patient too in your country and i just
want you to forget about the distance between me and you. Let’s just take a moment…
Motherless Baby Homes.
I am willing to donate the sum of three Million US Dollars, which is still the major inheritance i have left. I wish you could be someone who i could trust with all my heart,to make this wish of mine come true despite
the my prayers over you before i get to contact you. Okay, lady, first off, there are specific charities that you should be donating to. Secondly, Google translate has continued to fail you. You may have been born in The US, but you obviously suck at speaking.
I really need you to use the funds to help the poor which is very
essential and also the widow and cancer patient as me. I know this is
hard, but you should keep this saying in your heart , I am like Moses
in the Bible . He came to the Red Sea and Pharaoh behind him and no
way to turn but God delivered him all by a miraculous deliverance. It
will be a miracle from God to be able to help all the dear people God
has laid on our hearts, as you have been laid on my heart to do is
will.
Now that I am not sure of my life here, and no biological child,so
I now decide to choose you as my next of kin to my funds deposited in
the Bank, by contributing to the development of the motherless babies
homes,
MOTHERLESS BABIES HOMES
needy, poor, charity homes and widows, cancer patients love me
too. Am willing to donate the sum amount of money which is still the
major inheritance I have left.Please note that, this fund is lying
down in a Bank in West Africa. Oh, I didn’t know that money could lie down… That bank must be very luxurious.
That is why with God in my heart i contact you and i want you to
contact me so we be in contact with all the poor souls out there. I contact you, and you contact me… What’s the rest of the Barney song?
Give new lives, hopes and days. I have come to find out that wealth
acquisition without Christ is vanity and i hope you will agree with
this also. I will be praying hard that Satan will not stop this effort.
Do contact me and i will tell you more of what you wish to know. Oh, really? What exactly do I wish to know more of that you could possibly tell me?
Note that the Lord have a great reason for me contacting you and i
will be very grateful if you will heed to the call of the Lord by
replying to me on my personal email address.
Lady, I will heed no such call.
Yours in Christ,
Await your Response
Mrs. Jenny Kossa.
