My top tips to avoid being harassed at GDC
There have been quite a few tips and tricks threads on twitter surrounding how to avoid being harassed as a woman at GDC. I have spent 10 years attending GDC and have tried various methods to reduce my ratio of people who aren’t worth my time.
- Don’t wear skirts
- Do wear a wedding ring
- Don’t dance
- Do travel in a group
- Don’t drink too much
- Do be confident
- Don’t forget you aren’t alone
- Do surround yourself with supporters
These tips are meant to be ideas of different coping strategies for dealing with inappropriate behaviors, in general my methods have always been ones that feature conflict avoidance. I tend to err on the side of caution and don’t see a lot of value in interacting with people who don’t value me as a person.
Don’t wear skirts
The ultimate goal here is to blend, try not to look “too” feminine which will dissuade men from thinking you’re at the conference for more than just business. This prevents men from being able to comment on your clothing, and they can then focus on asking you more relevant questions. Most people aren’t creepy enough that they will comment on you physical appearance, but its still a possibility. Ten years ago this was super solid advice, now its possible to get by being a bit more feminine if you maintain and edgy look.
Wear a wedding ring
This doesn’t actually prevent all men from hitting on you, but will shut most guys down when they ask you to dance, or at least reduced the number of people who are going to try to interact with you in an inappropriate way. Do be prepared for people to assume that your close male friend is your husband.
Don’t dance
Dancing can be really fun, but in general its best to avoid or be very wary while doing so. Avoiding parties with music and dancing is one way to remove yourself from the problem entirely. If you do dance make sure you have a peer group to dance with, or can escape the floor to find people if things get problematic. If you find yourself receiving unwanted attention you can always try to tell them no or flash your wedding ring, but that may not dissuade everyone.
Do travel in a group
This advice is good general advice, regardless of how concerned you are with receiving negative attention during a party. This prevents people from getting lost and makes sure everyone makes it home ok. When you’re in a group of people jerks are going to be more likely to leave you alone, and if you need support you will know precisely where to go to.
Don’t drink too much
Know your limits and stay well within them, make sure to drink one glass of water per alcoholic beverage you consume so you don’t end up with a hangover in the morning. If you feel pressured to drink more its easy enough to tell people you are simply recovering from overdoing it last night. Does it need to be said that you shouldn’t leave your drink unattended? Never do that! If the venue is doing drink tickets consider giving one to a friend
Do be confident in yourself
Regardless of what you do there will always be people who aren’t going to take you seriously. While this is frustrating and impacts women and minorities to a larger capacity than other people there isn’t much to be done to change one person’s mind. Don’t take how they treat you to heart, it isn’t about you. By being able to recognize that some people aren’t worth your time and mental energy you can work towards meeting people who do value you.
Don’t forget that you aren’t alone
It can be frustrating when you have a bad interaction with a person, but you can keep a cool perspective by remembering that other people have gone through the same thing. Talk to people you trust about these experiences, to make sure they are aware you don’t feel safe and so you can assess the severity of the situation. Also recognize that this person has probably treated other people similarly in the past and by being open about these issues we can work towards creating a culture and environment where these issues are less frequent.
Do surround yourself with supporters
You should strive to hang out with people who will treat you well. The best piece of advice is that when you find people that you do want to get to know better, ask them what their plans are for the rest of GDC and if they want to meet up later. Trust your instincts, many people are in fact decent human beings and by seeking out those relationships you can build a network of supportive peers and mentors.
