Detailed strategy to enhance the quality of life
I am a skeptic With a Capital Letter.
One day I woke up at 5 in the morning because I felt a face spasm. I was so anxious that my body woke me up. I did not understand at that time how anxious I was because never thought about it. But the body, which is in connection with the subconscious knew and asked for help. All emotions are kept in the body.
It was the start of a new beginning.
The week before that happened, I ordered a book by Joe Dispenza called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One. So probably my subconscious already was looking the ways to reduce anxiety. In the book, the author makes references to neurobiology and quantum physics. Moreover, he has degrees in those fields!
Then I thought: if I can train my body and after 6 years of constant exercising it looks good that I am grateful right now why can’t I do the same with my brain?
Why am I not forcing myself to do exercises but do them once in two days without even thinking about it? I do it automatically. Plus, all that I have ever dreamt of is my reality now.
This article is not a summary of the book. It is about my own experience that became an outcome of books that I read, observation, therapy, reflection, and practice. But the book can be your guide in this journey and a good start!
That’s a power of habit! We become what we think
Bad habits, self-destructive thoughts, self-limiting beliefs, and low self-esteem — all are the results of day-to-day practice. This is our routine. Yes, thinking bad about yourself is a habit and routine most of us have.
We live with beliefs that were obtained in our childhood or later and bring them to adulthood.
Now it’s time to break the vicious circle and start using your potential to its fullest. You have that judgmental voice in your head because it was repetitive. So, you can do the opposite? Right?
Chicken or egg?
I had a prejudice that positive thinking people are just lucky ones who already have everything in life and of course they can think positively.
But the truth is that it is not. Many people change their life after starting to think positively. Otherwise, we would never have the breaking through, start-ups, and success stories.
Think about the positive people in your circle. How do they live? What do they think about themselves? Are they less anxious? Do they enjoy life more? Read about people who change the lives of millions, leaders, and influencers. How do they think about themselves?
Positive thinking = thinking good of yourself!
At some point the term “positive thinking” became toxic, and you want to stick your nose up. The reason that media has inflated the term.
Positive thinking first is thinking good about yourself. Forget about others for a while. Be yourself the ideal parent you dreamed of!
If you think in a new positive way about yourself, you start creating new neurons in your brain. The neuron cells start to act differently. The whole mindset shifts. You start a new life with a new brain. New, happier you.
Simple as that!
Meditation is a routine for thoughts
It is not about sitting on the yoga mat with closed eyes and not talking. It can be the walk with your dog, cycling to your job, or even sunbathing.
It is about thoughts! At first, you force yourself to think differently!
Instead of “you made a mistake because you are so stupid” — “Everyone makes mistakes and that’s ok. That is life. You have the right not to be perfect”
Instead of “they made it on purpose to make me angry” — “Everyone makes mistakes and that’s ok. Everyone is dealing with something, and the people are not against me”
Tell yourself supportive messages: “I am proud of what you have done”, “You do not need to deserve love, you are already loved”.
A new habit sticks to you in 21 days. Now it is time to gather the will into a fist and practice for 21 days straight.
Do not let old toxic habits return. Stop yourself and TALK TO YOURSELF every time you want to make a step back and start acting in an old way.
But give yourself room for mistakes. Sometimes you want to come back to old habits because it is easier and more well-known. Moreover, you might have enjoyed being in a victim position.
Stop enjoying a victim position
Being a victim has some benefits and people use it but in a long run, it won’t help you. You are losing the quality of life. It is like riding a horse when you can ride a tesla in Sahara. You are still moving but with no comfort.
The victim position is blaming others (Government, Parents, Law, circumstances) that they have done something and that is the reason of your failure.
You can do that. But again, why would you ride a horse instead of a tesla? The trick is that there is always someone to blame. But the only person who will suffer is you. Time is limited.
Blaming others and complaining requires resources and energy. Resources and energy = money, quality of life, happiness, etc. The analogy: you have money that you can spend on investment with a return or spend on punching a person in a circus.
Yep. Making money to punch someone instead of making more. Isn’t it stupid? Exaggeration always makes everything explain quicker.
Hope I convince you that being a victim is a bad investment with zero returns.
Give others permission to fail
Take off the responsibility for the world, others’ emotions, others’ depression, others’ decisions, and other’s life.
In 30 days, I observed my thoughts and realized that I think about everything else not only my life. I do not take real responsibility. But I have thoughts.
Judging others was one of my toxic habits. Not letting others do what they want is not letting yourself do what you want.
So here is a question. Who does not let you do what you want?
Yes, it is YOU.
Others are not your responsibility. You are your only responsibility.
But what about my family and parents you say? Well, they will reflect the changes. People tend to reach for the good. No one can force happiness.
Love is granted
One more thing that hit me in those 30 days is that: Love is granted. It is not exchangeable. Not even exchangeable for love. You just grant it.
If to accept this expression life becomes a lot easier.
You help because you want to, not because you want something in return. You make presents with pure willingness, not because you wait for something in return.
You stop being anxious, and stop waiting for returns and that’s freedom. That’s happiness.
Everyone is dealing with something
That is the truth I did not want to accept. Because by accepting this fact you are refusing the victim position.
It seemed to me that I do more than people around me but still have little returns. But is not. Everyone. Again, everyone is dealing with the same challenges as you are. All the people you see smiling in the café are dealing with challenges.
You can compare yourself to others, but that old habits devour energy. And here we come again with an analogy of paying for punching someone instead of investing.
Dream. Make wishes
Your job is to want something and the Universe’s job is to make it happen.
When I first heard this I was laughing! What a sweet scam for fools. When I dig dipper, I realized I did not let myself make wishes. Firstly, I thought I have no right to make wishes. And second, I immediately start thinking about how to make it real!
But any attempt to analyze or predict when and how your dream will come true will throw you back to the old paradigm. It is an attempt to control the situation, and distrust the world. And that are old habits we are trying to get rid of.
Think about your past dreams that came true. What did you do when you were dreaming about it? Had you any idea the path it would take?
I made a list of 100 wishes. It was not an easy exercise! That exercise itself is a good practice. Rewrite it several times because the first one might not be your true intentions but someone else’s imposed wishes.
As a conclusion to this article here are some points to outline:
- Be the best parent to yourself
- Make it a habit
- Talk to yourself, ask yourself questions
- Don’t blame yourself
- Don’t blame others
- Blaming is exchanging your energy for nothing. You are the only one who loses
- Everyone is dealing with something so at least be polite
- Be greater than your body to be greater than the time
- Take a book as a guide, it has answers to personal healing. At least it is a good trainer, framework. Whatever you call it, it works.
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