For everyone writing exams, I have something to tell you.

Around this time every year, a lot of people start posting a lot of stuff about marks and Board Exam results. They say marks don’t matter. They’ve basically sugar-coated their words in an attempt to say things that procrastinators would like to hear.


The issue here is with the phrase - 'marks don’t affect you’. When you say that as an excuse for your procrastination, you are merely plain wrong. What you do here is, question the education system and turn standardised testing as a loophole as a result of When you say this, you are basically ridiculing the tremendous amount of effort put in by countless students all across the country to score good marks. You should rather tell kids to not let marks define them.

Your marks matter to the extent you want them to. Steve Jobs never went to college, but he had a flair for learning. He did not stop learning. Marks do matter, at the end of the day, but don’t let them define your future. Don’t stress over numbers. But for some, who’ve worked their asses off to bag these numbers, it’s a fruit of their labour that you shouldn’t snatch away with patronizing social media updates.

I recall a senior of mine telling me “School life will end, and you’ll miss it”. That very senior wrote one of her board papers today, perhaps one of those which decided who she will be for the rest of the 20 years.

I was scribbling on my register today, apparently studying. Suddenly, something struck me. 4 years from now, all of my batchmates: all of us, will take different paths in life. You will remember this suffering, you will remember this pain.

I used to think of myself as strong. I used to believe that nothing could tear me down, until I was faced with such tragedy. Be strong. Time heals all wounds. 4 years before I will pass out, I can tell you time does not heal all wounds. It does not get easier with time. When my answer doesn’t match with the one on the back of the book, it is the most unsatisfactory feeling in the world. But it teaches me more.

It was never about procrastinating to not do the things I didn’t like doing. “Be what you want to be” was about finding ways to do the things I loved to do even when the whole universe was trying to stop me from doing them. It was my way of proving to the universe that it was wrong, telling it that this was my world, and I wasn’t going to be dictated by it, I was going to do what I was made for.

If you’re good at something, find out what you could do more, and whatever you know, teach it to someone else. There you will find respect, for you would have sacrificed your time and energy to give knowledge. And at the end of this beautiful journey, this respect is what you cherish, while all those trophies and certificates gather dust on the shelves.

Can I really say when I became those things? Can you?

All change is gradual, and whatever you give time to will grow — be it good qualities or bad. Whether a good experience or bad, every single experience taught me more. There were many around me who did stuff around for their own reasons, but learning was a reason that stayed with me over the years. There were times when life was unfair and friends were uncooperative, from them I learnt most. I learnt that brick walls are there for a reason. They separate you from others, because a heart that really wants something will not stop.

If you’re not satisfied with your output, be patient. Sit down, review your performance, be your own judge, push yourself further the next time. If you win the award, find out what could have been done more, and whatever you know, teach it to someone else. There you will find respect, for you would have sacrificed your time and energy to give knowledge. And at the end of this beautiful journey, this respect is what you cherish, while all those trophies and gavels gather dust on the shelves.

Maybe I need to get myself back. The loss is severe. Perhaps this time, the Phoenix will choose not to rise from the ashes.

~written by a boy behind a locked closet

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