Tara went back towards her home without uttering a word. I did not have any clue why she wanted me to wait for another two days. I just decided to talk to the kids in the classroom. I was feeling a bit emotional and I did not know how to express it to them.
When you have to leave behind something that you love and moving on from there is one of the difficult things to do.
And existing for two days just to experience that mental trauma within me was worse.
I wanted some ‘me’ time. I decided to visit the lake. The lake is situated in the middle of a desert and has good flow of water and its one of the rarest phenomenons of nature. Whenever I feel lonely or want some time in solitude, I visit here! The lake, which is an alien to the desert, is situated right there every day! I could relate myself to the lake.
Sunsets along the west are always a bliss to watch. I had actually spent more than three hours sitting idly just staring at the water. The sun had began to set and dusk sweeps in. I come back, I do not feel very good of what is happening, but I just feel it has to happen. I try to sleep in my couch, but remain idle staring at the walls and the room. The room was a small one, but convenient enough for one person and it was greatly decorated by the kids under Tara’s supervision. I look around me, nothing actually belongs to me, everything here was given to me by them. That devil voice within me crept in again.
Why are you doing this?! Who are you doing this for?! Why should you leave?! Should you definitely leave?! Where are you going to go? What are you going to do?!
It’s often the inner battles that you have to fight. And the ability to fight your inner battles will only make you a stronger person.
All my life, when a question like this pops up, I just go with my intuition. I don’t know it’s for the best or not, but I’m ready to face it.
Nobody has ever done anything extraordinary by doing the same thing like others.
I close my eyes and I try to sleep. But I could not. My mind is rewinding me the incidents that has happened till now.
When I wake up tomorrow, it will be my last day here, in this beautiful village of Siuli, miles and miles into the deserts of Rajasthan.
After trying a lot, I couldn’t sleep anyway. I just sit up right, and start staring at the walls, lifeless. Thoughts about Tara, and the school, and Shushiang ji, is not letting me sleep. I just hope everything falls in place for them.
I didn’t know when I slept, I woke up with a strange feeling. The dim sunlight through the broken window, just welcomed me for another beautiful day. It’s going to be my last day here, and I want it to make it my happiest! I get ready, for my farewell.