Rant of a “Anti-National”
I know what you’re thinking. Yet another Indian sitting in the bubble of Silicon Valley and opining about issues back home. Who cares that I have an Indian passport? Or that as an NRI, I have remitted money to Indian banks contributing to the economy. Or raised money whenever there is a flood or natural disaster back home. So I guess I get a pass commenting on what’s happening back home right?
“My relation with the Indian government is purely transactional.” — Kunal Kamra.
Dear reader, this post is not about glorifying myself as a law abiding Indian citizen who currently happens to reside abroad and occasionally contributes to his motherland. I believe before you speak your mind to an Indian audience you need to give a couple of clarifications beforehand. It might reduce the chances of having an FIR filed against me or some armchair nationalist branding me as an anti-national.
I would also like to state that I do not belong to the paid liberal media that most of you have developed a distaste for. I am not a presstitute, Khangressi, bhakt, AAPtard or any other political label that you as a reader are trying to categorize me under.
Now to my rant. I’ll keep it short. This is addressed to those who identify themselves as “nationalists”. Nationalism is bad. Read about it. You know what are the synonyms of nationalism? flag-waving, xenophobia, chauvinism, jingoism
Example: “their extreme nationalism was frightening”
Nationalism has always fucked things up for countries. When did nationalism replace good old patriotism? I have seen nationalism go hand in hand with sexism, patriarchy and religious extremism. Many desi men’s fragile masculine ego coupled with religious and cultural insecurity will be the death of our nation. Stop fucking it up for the rest of us. Let me break this down in bullet points for those of you who think Hinduism is in danger/ secularism is bad, feminism is a disease etc etc..you get my drift.
· Hinduism is NOT in danger. It is the oldest religion in the world for chrissake (See what I did there?). However, Hindutva is dangerous for India.
· Religion and politics have never mixed well. Religion + Politics gives you a Molotov cocktail. And Molotov Cocktails can destroy army tanks. Just ask the Soviets who invaded Hungary.
· Women >>>>>>> Cows. Unless you’re into cows which is weird. Also, illegal.
· Country is ALWAYS above political party.
· Extreme left wing politics is as dangerous as extreme right wing politics.
· India is a land of contradiction.
· Rahul Gandhi is still incompetent. That I agree.
· Go join the Army if you bring them up every time somebody questions something wrong in the nation.
· Radical Islam is a threat. So is radical Hinduism.
· LGBTQ rights are human rights. Don’t discriminate.
· Anyone’s dietary consumption is not your goddamn business.
· If you threaten anybody who doesn’t stand for the national anthem with violence, you’re a special kind of idiot. Itna shauk hai to Siachen ya Kashmir Valley pe khada re jawaan ke saath. (“ If you’re that keen please go to Siachen and kashmir valley and stand with the army”).
· Pakistan is not and should not be a parameter for comparison.
· Feminism is not a threat. Nor a problem. Your attitude towards women is a threat. And a big problem. Thanks to patriarchal sexist assholes like yourself, our country has a bad name.
· Older Indian aunties please tell the patriarchal men in your family to sit their ass down. Your comments on what your daughters and grand-daughters wear as well as your silence when they are subject to sexism is heartbreaking. Sometimes women are their own enemies. Unite. Resist. Smash the patriarchy. (No, I’m not white-knighting. I’ve just seen a lot of Indian women with regressive thinking).
· Spitting pan on the wall, peeing on the road with your tiny dick out, pooping on the beach and vandalizing public property should concern you. Not a consensual couple kissing in public.
· No matter what your political affiliation, hitting couples holding hands or marrying them off by force, creating a ruckus on Valentine’s Day does not make you a hero. You’re a thug. You should be in jail.
· If you’re offended by stand-up comedians believe it or not you have the freedom to not watch them.
· When someone brings up valid points on the negative practices within our country STOP deflecting on the negativity that is in a Western country.
· In the comment sections of TOI, Al Jazeera, BBC stop picking fights with Pakistanis. It does not make you look cool nor does it help India’s image.
· Double check, Triple check everything you read before you share it on Whatsapp or the internet. Please. People have died back home because of fake Whatsapp forwards.
· Live and let live. Easier said than done I know but try. Just fucking try.
I do have one pressing question though.
Why don’t toxic pollutants in a lake in Bangalore, child molestation, the death of 30 kids in Gorakhpur or a woman brutally being raped in Haryana affect you as much as a meme on your religion or your political party?
PS — Feel free to add to this list in the comment.
If you disagree with me, tell me why. Reason and debate. Don’t call me anti-national or a paid liberal hack because it just shows you have no comeback.