Rock Subculture in Adulthood & Social Pressure to Fit In
I would like to start by highlighting that all that follows is based on my own thoughts, experiences, observations, and feelings. I am not trying to make any claims or blame anyone, but rather outline potential struggles some may be going through to find their identity and/or sense of belonging.
A bit about myself
As a teenager, I, like so many, was a fan of rock music, particularly a mix of Alternative Rock with Emo sprinkled with some Hard Rock themes. I would find myself lost, listening to Korn, Stone Sour, Three Days Grace, Bullet for my Valentine, and so many other bands. During this period and into my early 20s, I was the lead singer in two different bands myself. I think I am a better songwriter than a singer, but voicing my thoughts to the raving guitars and heavy drums would fill my heart with excitement, and the base vibration would make the whole experience almost physical.
Rock music (ok, maybe for a reason) is considered dark, negative, aggressive, and often pessimistic. But to me, it makes it honest. The world is a hostile place. And it is negativity, fear, doubt, and danger that pushes humankind to evolve, fight, and survive. Looking at the dark side, in my opinion, is a way to acknowledge a problem which can help to find a solution or at least share my emotions and point of view instead of keeping my thoughts bottled up and letting them eat me from the inside.
I used to dress in darker colours, wear dark makeup, and had piercings. Basically, If you saw me, you would most likely know my subculture just by looking at my appearance. I was lucky, though, as I was very accepting and accepted in my very mixed and eclectic circle of friends. I sometimes felt against the world, but yet, still myself.
It was later in University when I started feeling pressure to be “normal” and “neutral”. I mean, I had some school teachers who couldn’t overcome their prejudice either, but it didn’t matter to me at that time. However, when it came to finishing my Master’s degree, I felt as if my appearance could start affecting my future. I reluctantly removed my lip piercing and started dressing more neutrally (and yes, it made a difference). But my self-identity was really challenged later.
Evolution of Subcultures or “It’s Time to Grow Out of It”
All in all, there is this notion that everyone (or at least most people) should simply “grow out of it”. The so called rebellious teenage years are behind you, so now, you are meant to be all “grown up”, calm, and collected.
The thing is that most teenagers have their “rebellions”, regardless of what subculture (if any) they belong to. Those who are crazy about sport, pop (electric, country, or RnB etc. for that matter), music fans, or even those obsessed with superheroes can happily keep going with their hobbies no matter the setting. Bleaching hair Barbie blond (no offence) remains completely acceptable. Yet, dying hair black (especially with darker makeup for ladies or, for example, black nail polish for gents) somehow makes the look “less professional” and out of the ordinary. Again, there may be some exceptions, but generally, this is how it is.
But let’s forget the looks; they don’t matter anyway, right?
My theory is that looks are the first thing to disappear because they actually point to the way you may think. And how is that? Well… if you are listening to hard rock, then you clearly have a negative attitude. And this is what makes other people uncomfortable (or, at a minimum, a bit wary of you). The fact that someone sees “negativity” through your appearance makes them think you may have an undesirable impact on their mood/lives. So changes in the way we may look come not from a “fashion” side of things but rather to shield ourselves from the prejudice others may have.
But it simply isn’t true. I know some of the sweetest people that listen to the darkest stuff and others flying through their bright pink lives with an “Oops, I did it again” attitude. The problem is in anticipation, not actual interaction.
Is Negativity that Negative?
So… time goes on, we look “normal”, working at our “normal” jobs, listening to others’ “normal” corporate pop music, and sometimes feel too “normal” to go to a random gig or to wear too much black. In my case, I feel as if I detached from my self-identity without building another one. Teenage years may sometimes be extreme, but this is when most of us form as fully developed humans in terms of our thoughts and ideals. Yet many feel forced “to grow up” to fit into adulthood. But why is this necessary?
This is where social pressure really kicks in. The pressure to be “positive”, “tolerant”, and “accepting”. The phenomenon here is that “pressure” is generally considered as negativity. So how should we react to the “pressure to be positive”?
That is what I personally find amusing. Society is forcing us to be more “positive”. The world, in the meantime, doesn’t change. People still suffer (and the range can vary enormously): some are bullied, some lose their loved ones, and some are stressed to the brink of burnout. We are in a financial and oil crisis, and we have been through a historic pandemic. Of course, we should be able to look at the bright side. But silencing the dark side doesn’t eliminate the problem.
This positivity forces us to keep everything deep within, leaving us lonely and misunderstood, without a way out.
It Is in the Dark When You Can See the Light
People have different coping mechanisms, and the teenage years are generally the time we form them (but it is never too late). So those of us who cope with the negativity by addressing it should find a way to do so. And remembering who YOU are, is the way to do it.
I am not suggesting going all out or being rude. But if more people could stay true to who they are, more people would be willing to accept different opinions and outlooks, making us all learn from each other for a common better good.
