My 63-year-old Mother Tried Tinder.

And she received an unsolicited dick pic within a couple of days.

It was New Years Eve, and she’d just matched with him. Without exchanging words, he sent her a picture of his junk. She kept her account for awhile so she could show friends and laugh about it, but ultimately was creeped out and deleted her account.

But let’s go back. Why was she on Tinder to begin with? Why not a more “age-appropriate” site like eHarmony? “All the guys on there looked like they belonged in an old folks home or a coffin.” Plus: “Who wants to read through all that bullshit? It’s 55 pages of questions!” Even though she’s not a millennial, there was something appealing about the concept of Tinder: It’s quick, easy and not a big commitment. Let me note here that I’d describe her as a “cool mom,” one who prides herself on knowing how to use all the latest apps. She even has a Medium account.

So she decided to try out Tinder. In her mind she thought it would be simple: “You see a couple of pictures and badda bing badda boom, you meet for coffee!” This wasn’t the case. She was “swiping like hell,” but says right when she got a match was when it all started to break down. She thinks a lot of guys just like to troll the site and are secretly married. Her friend, who is in her forties, has had men try to con her into money.

My mom isn’t necessarily seeking a steady boyfriend or husband, but she would like someone to go hiking or to the movies with. “I’m so old,” she says. “I never meet guys in my age bracket because they are all fucking married.” Though she has many friends and is known to be the life of the party, most of her friends have been coupled for decades.

Her sympathy runs out for young people like me; We should just run into somebody through a friend or meet at the bar. It’s so easy when you are young, she opines. “Why do you need to do it online?”