STINC #2 — The one about Cops and Time Travel
This is the second entry in a series of “first chapters” I call, Shit Things I Never Completed. You can find out more about them here.
Queens, New York
“Come on, Liz, move it”, screamed Joel as he slid over the counter.
The two thieves sprinted through the video store knocking shelves to the ground as they ran for the back door. Without looking back, the larger of the two gave the back door an almighty kick, sending the door off its hinges and crashing to the ground. A street lamp from the alleyway lit up the store as Joel began making his way over the fallen shelving.
“Liz, where the hell are you?” he yelled into his radio.
“Alley. Heading north. In pursuit on foot”, his radio crackled.
Joel had made it halfway to the back door when a shelf gave way showering him in Adult VHS tapes. “Goddamit”, he yelled as he pushed back the shelves, “Liz, I’m falling behind here. You might be on your own for a bit, don’t get shot”.
“They’re making a right on 70th. Get back out front Joel”
“Gah alright alright”, Joel muttered under his breath. He made his way back to the front of the store as quickly as possible. Stumbling over broken shelves, and hundreds of scattered tapes and DVDs. His second attempt at a slide over the counter, unfortunately, was not nearly as graceful as the first. Swearing to himself he finally got out the front door and into the gloomy side street.
He looked to his right and saw the old Buick the thieves had crashed into the store further down the street. It looked to be leaking fuel. He couldn’t see any smoke or fire, and there were no people around that would be at risk if it were. He looked back to his left and saw the two perps rounding the corner heading North, back in the direction they’d driven from. He thought twice about leaving the car wreck unattended but concluded that the Fire department was on their way, and they could deal with it much better than he could.
It was half the distance to the perps than it was to the squad car. He could go back and get the car, but he could see they were headed towards a nearby housing project. If they managed to make it, it’d make it hard to track them from there. On the upside, he could see that the bigger of the two was starting to lag well behind. Joel figured he was better than even chance of catching him from here.
“Liz, I’m pursuing on foot”
Almost in response, he heard the younger of the two thieves yell, “Dude, hurry the fuck up!”
Both perps crossed the road and were headed towards the housing block down the street. Joel started sprinting after them as fast as he could manage, fumbling with his radio as he ran.
“They’re heading back through the Projects, Liz. I think I can catch the tubby one, but the young one is too quick for me”.
“I’ll get the car, I’m already on my way. Let’s grab the slow one. We can pick up the kid later. I’ll notify dispatch”.
“Roger that”, replied Joel as he raced into the intersection.
Two cars came to a screeching halt, horns blaring. “Hey watch it asshole”, came the cry from one the cars.
“NYPD!”, yelled Joel waving the badge around his neck at the driver. The driver responded with another toot of the horn and floored it through the intersection. “Hey! You’re the asshole, asshole!”, yelled Joel as he continued across the street.
He’d lost sight of the kid but could see the older guy jogging across a park towards the projects. He’d clearly run out of puff.
“I’ve lost the fast one, gaining on the slow one”, said Joel over his radio.
“Roger, I’m in the car now. Will be there in a minute”.
In the distance, Joel could only just hear the siren of Liz’s car wailing above his own ragged breath. The slower thief was now halfway across the park, and Joel started to worry he was going to lose him. He dug deep and found an extra gear he didn’t know he still had.
“You’re too slow pal”, he cried out to perp, “Save us both the heart attack will you!”
He was gaining, but he was also feeling every minute of his 41 years. Joel shouted, “Come on man, if I have a heart attack, I’m gonna take you down with me”
“Fuck you pig!”, yelled the perp over his shoulder, just shy of the tree line.
“Oh real fucking novel, man. Never heard that before”
Joel looked around trying to find the younger of the two through the trees, but he was nowhere in sight. His muscles were burning, and his left calf was beginning to cramp. His only hope was that fatty here was more out of shape than he was. As if in answer to his prayers, the perp pulled up short of the trees, tumbled to the ground screaming, “Ah, my fucking leg” and collapsed to the ground.
Joel slowed to a jog, his legs turning to jelly. He sidled up to the thief, leant down with one knee in his back and fumbled for his cuffs. Between breaths, he managed to say, “Fat fucker. You’re under arrest. For. Assault. And. Robbery. And. Ah, fuck it. I’ll wait for Liz”
“Goddamn it man, you’re hurting my back. Get the fuck offa me”, said the perp.
“Is that you Brock?”, asked Joel, “Well I’ll be. I thought I recognised your stink”
“Yeah jerkwad, cos I just came from banging your mom”
“Wow, you are just full of witty and original humour today, aren’t you Jon”, said Joel, pulling the perp up to his feet.
“Ow ow ow, easy man, I think I’ve like torn a hamstring or something”.
“I’m not sorry to hear that in the slightest. I tell you what, I’ll get someone to look at that if you can tell me what the fuck you were doing robbing a University? And where your little buddy got to? Anyway, have you ever even been to a University before Jon? Seems like an odd target for you?”
“Hey, don’t you gotta read me my rights before asking me questions pig?”
“Well look at that, my partner is here. I’m sure she’d love to do the honours. I need to catch my breath anyway.”
Liz and another patrol car pulled up at about on the street at about the same time. Joel began walking Brock over to them.
“You’ll never guess who we have here, Liz. It’s an old friend of mine Jon Brock. Jon, meet detective Gomez, you’re gonna get along just great”, said Joel.
“Wow, you know this piece of crap?”, replied Liz, “What were you doing over there Jon? You don’t look like the University type”
“Oh yeah, real funny. Your pal here already made that joke, and anyway, don’t be making fun of my low social economy upbringing ok. That’s classest you know, lady!”
The two uniformed cops sidled up and with a nod to the two detectives took Brock back to their car.
“What happened to junior burger?”, asked Liz.
“He made the trees. I don’t know what happened to him after that”, replied John, still catching his breath.
“I take it he was the one holding the bag?”
“Actually, that’s a good question. I have no idea. Do we even know what was taken yet?” asked Joel.
###
“Hey, where’s my phone call? I wanna call my girl, like right now, man”, said Jon Brock from his cell at Queens PD.
Joel turned in his chair, “Phone call? Jesus, this isn’t the movies. You get a phone call when I say you do. Right now, that requires me getting up from this chair. And, right now, I’m not feeling inclined to move a goddamn muscle. So, right now, you can shut your hole. Ok? Is that a fair answer? Is that ok?”
“Hey, I’ve been runnin too remember. And when am I gonna get someone to look at my damned leg. It hurts like hell!”, said Brock.
“You’ll get your leg looked at after I manage to get myself a damned coffee!”, said Joel kicking the cell bars. “Goddamnit Jon, you make it sound like it’s my fault. How many times have I had to chase your fat ass across town?”
“Bullshit, man. All you cops do is sit around like, eating doughnuts, chewing up our taxes or whatever. You should be exercising! You’re getting fat, man!”, said Brock.
“You’re a fucking two-bit thief Brock, you don’t get to complain about fucking taxes. And you’re fatter than me, you asshole. Jesus Christ man”, said Joel as he slumped back into his chair.
The door opened and Liz walked in holding two coffees, handing one to Joel, “It was supposed to be your turn, lard lad”.
“Oh come on, don’t you start”, said Joel accepting the piping hot coffee.
“Where’s mine”, snorted Brock as he stepped up to the cell bars.
Joel turned in his chair, “Oh my god. Seriously. You just don’t let up, do you? This ain’t the goddamn Hilton!”
###
The local diner had been their go-to joint since they day they started working together 12 months earlier. It wasn’t great, but it was quick, had tolerable coffee and was never overly busy at breakfast, which made it ideal for talking shop.
“So, anyway, what do we know about the kid?”, asked Liz, “He a friend of yours too?”
Joel moved his plate across and opened the file he’d brought with him. He searched his shirt pocket for his glasses before releasing he was already wearing them. Inside there was a security camera photo showing the kid and Brock mid-robbery. Joel unclipped it from the folder and handed it to Liz. He scanned through the first page.
“Let’s see. Luis McMillan, Turned 18 a few weeks back, been in and out of foster homes, trouble with most of them. Typical hard luck story. No known associates. It’s like he turned 18 and decided he wanted to get himself a birthday present.”
“Any priors? And pass the salt.”
“Not really, an assault charge when he was at a foster home. But I gotta be honest, reading this, the foster Dad sounds like he deserved it. Other than that, there’s a few misdemeanours, but nothing out of the ordinary for a kid with his background. This is his first serious crime, and his first robbery. Robbing a university seems pretty far out of character. If it’s an escalation, I reckon we’d want to catch up with him pretty damned soon”.
“Ketchup”, said Liz, gesturing at the bottle.
“That’s what I said”, said Joel, looking over his glasses.
“Ket. Chup”, sighed Liz, dumping her fork and reaching for the ketchup.
“Oh right, sorry. Anyway, yeah, he’s not been seen since last night. Brock says he has no idea where he went, and I don’t think he knows much anyway. Sounds like he was just a pair of hired hands.”
“Ok, let’s talk to Brock and see what the hell they were even doing at the university in the first place”.
“Sure, after I have another coffee”
“Or, you could skip the caffeine hit and just do some exercise once in a while”, she said as she finished the last of her eggs.
“Goddamnit, Gomez, can I not have a moment of enjoyment today?”
“Admit it Joel, if the perp’s leg didn’t give out on him, you wouldn’t have caught him. Am I right? You’re out of shape.”
“Ok ok fine. I’ll skip the damned coffee”, said Joel, sliding some cash under his cup, “but If I fall asleep at my desk, I’m blaming you”.
I wrote another 3 chapters, which ended with a 50-year-old Luis McMillan handing himself into police. He claimed to be from the future and wanted to turn himself in. He knows a lot about the crime. Joel believes him, Liz doesn’t. Is he really from the future, or was he somehow involved in the crime? I don’t know, I never found out either.
