The Pain and Joy of Authenticity

Alan Jacobson
Sep 2, 2018 · 2 min read

My commitment to being the best version of myself calls me into action to distinguish where I am responsible for what shows up in my experience.

I know many like-minded people who are unerringly, or so it seems, authentic and willing to promote their transparency by examining their behaviour, performance and impact in the world.

Those who I consider masters of authenticity are unshakable, laser sharp and most significantly, vulnerable. Their ability to be open, responsible and forgiving is truly inspirational.

It’s down this path that I journey and it is on this journey that I am routinely challenged to re-examine my commitment to authenticity in a world dominated by opinion, judgement and survival.

Recently, I was the source of a relationship conflict, triggered by an incidental comment about a shower mat!

In a moment, the best version of myself abandoned me and I’m left defiantly and vigorously screaming profanities as though my life had been threatened; years of development and training vanquished in an instance.

Why does this happen and what evokes the amygdala to such a radical and energised defence?

Clearly, the amygdala doesn’t care about who you are being or what you look like, simply whether you live or die!

This ratcheting of the amygdala is exacerbated by the inauthenticities one is holding on to.

Be it a past wound, a belief, a decision or a thought about something that you bury and hide to navigate your version of the world and the relationships therein.

In this instance, I distinguished a resentment, an inauthenticity, something that I was responsible for that contributed to expressing an upset about a “shower mat”! Ridiculous yet manifested!

Rarely, in my experience, are inauthenticities dissolved until it’s communicated and shared.

Unless you can stand in being responsible and vulnerable, the discovery is an insight and makes little difference to your relationships and progress to being your best version.

A word of caution, sometimes your share isn’t understood by others, be loving and caring. While it can make a difference for you it can be confronting and unsettling for others — the people you love.

Be generous and caring and consider the needs of and impacts on others.

In writing this, I also see that my amygdala response is sourced in a past wound, where my survival occurred as being at stake — there is more work I could do here!

Of course, if I hadn’t looked and I hadn’t written this, I would continue to be the victim of my experience and everything in my life would simply be outside of my influence.

To Your Success, Alan.

Do you have something to share or say about authenticity?

Alan Jacobson

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