If a tree falls in a forest but no one witnesses it, does it make a sound?

I’ve always struggled with this question. My rational brain is unequivocal, “Of course it makes a sound.” Substance over form.

But I have a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that the question wouldn’t exist if the answer was so obvious.

I’ve recently opened my eyes to the truth. The answer is, “No.”

No witness, no sound. Always, in every example in life, this holds true. There can be no substance if there is no form. Irrational, unfair, but the truth.

Deal with it or be doomed to be one of those people who constantly mutter to themselves, “I thought of that idea long ago.”

PS: Another reason to love the Interweb. If there are no more secrets then there will be no more trees falling without witnesses.

Originally published at The Big Almanack.