The elephant in the room is that catcalling works.
Sumant Manne
14

If women are truly too afraid to say no, then what you are arguing for is that they must be attended to by male guardians who give permission for sexual intercourse.

I think this is a (deliberately?) disingenuous way of looking at this. If women are afraid to say no it might be valuable to examine why? Women actually do get killed for rebuffing a man’s advances. Maybe this happens to men too, but it’s not something I’ve ever been concerned about nor is it something that I’m familiar with.

That said, the text you quoted was “If we lived in a world where a girl could just say no” which doesn’t discuss women being too afraid to say no. You deliberately truncated her post and misrepresent her position. It’s more “If we lived in a world where a girl could just say no [without having to deal with the hassle that comes with it].”

I’m not sure I like that line of thought. But that would require her to take some responsibility, and we can’t have that, right?

You’re the only person that presented this line of thought, however. I have lied to a woman to spare her feelings as well (IMO a projection of my own lack of self confidence at the time, since I myself was terrified of rejection).

If it makes you feel better for women to “take some responsibility” in declining dates, it’s still important to understand what motivates a woman to claim she has a boyfriend instead of simply saying no. It’s an odd hill to die on to proclaim that women are somehow shirking responsibility especially when the person posted links discussing women that were killed/assaulted for saying no.

Anecdotally “I have a boyfriend” worked best on me in the past, because I tended to think that if she was in fact single, then I just needed to approach things from a different angle. Accepting the no and moving on ultimately proved to be better and more fruitful as I spent less time bothering someone that wasn’t interested.

The elephant in the room is that catcalling works.

Do you know if there’s been any studies showing the efficacy of catcalling?