You Can’t Win The Comparison Game

I’ve taken several steps in the past few years to improve my happiness, joy and fulfillment.

I’ve chosen to focus on the present, on the process and on the controllables (my attitude and effort).

I’ve put tremendous effort into making deep connections with those I care about and I’ve shifted into valuing experiences over material items.

I’ve worked relentlessly to improve my self-awareness, vulnerability and emotional IQ.

I’ve developed more empathy, tolerance and humility.

And one of the most powerful shifts I’ve made is to stop comparing myself and my life to others.

I’ve quit playing the comparison game.

Why?

Because it’s a game I can’t win.

All I have to do is walk outside and I’ll immediately see someone with more money, a nicer car, a bigger house, with a more muscular body, nicer clothes or a hotter girlfriend.

Someone who charges higher speaking fees and has a larger social following.

Someone who is smarter, funnier or more handsome.

And I’m finally at peace with that. I am who I am and I’m proud of who I am (and who I’m becoming). And just because someone ‘has more’ or ‘is better’ — that shouldn’t devalue me!

The comparison game can wreak havoc in the other direction too.

In regards to suffering, shame, heartache and disappointment — I will stunt my own feelings, devalue my own insecurities and discredit my own fears if I compare the adversities I’ve faced to other people.

I realize how fortunate I am. I am hyper aware that I was born with a myriad of privileges and advantages. On the spectrum of disease, death, tragedies — I’m thankful I haven’t experienced a fraction of what others have.

But does that mean I should feel guilty for feeling bad at times… just because others have it worse?

Am I not allowed to be upset because other people have endured more suffering?

No way.

That wouldn’t be fair.

I can’t compare my bad times with others.

We’re all on our journey.

We’re all running our own race.