Eggs, a Short Story from Ali’s Adventures in Wonderland

The following is a behind-the-scenes untold story from the 300mcg 1P-LSD experience I spoke of in my recent article Me, LSD & The Meaning of Life.

I have a passion for eggs, they are my staple and the most well-stocked item in our household, along with small oranges, and up-until-recently, an entire fridge dedicated to beer and 8 liter boxes of cheap white wine.

I used to prefer scrambled eggs but have recently discovered the hidden delights of not-quite boiled eggs. The kind that is still gooey on the inside and has a tendency to end up spilling out and going everywhere. I’d prepared four such eggs during the preparation phase of the day in question, otherwise known as ‘last Friday’.

One thing I didn’t mention in my article, because it wasn’t relevant, was that before the contemplative, clear-headed phase of 1P-LSD there is the wild, untamed phase — at least how I have experienced it. This is the phase for emotional expression and getting lost in one’s own head; with all the delights and horrors one’s own imagination has to offer, sponsored by repressed frustrations and unfulfilled desires.

I was hungry. There were eggs. Hunger + food = eat. The theory is bulletproof. Or so I thought.

The egg became my entire world. I could see every detail of the egg, each spot on the shell, in incredibly exaggerated clarity. I set out on my momentous task of peeling off the egg shell… very, very carefully.

Inside the egg, I knew, was everything that I wanted at that moment. Gently and lovingly I picked at the shell, so careful not the break the skin, unclothing the egg from its armored shell — naked for the first time, bearing its vulnerable flesh for me alone. Desire burned in me for the sweet, sweet nourishing yellow drippings of yolk. The egg knew what I wanted but the egg was coy; teasing me, making me be patient. Tension was mounting.

“Stop teasing me little egg. I am a mighty human, I could devour you at any moment. What choice do you have?

“Come then human. Unshell me if you wish, come taste me; why are you taking so long? What power could a little egg like me possibly have over a great and powerful human such as yourself?

“Don’t play games with me egg. I see what you are. You’re the one teasing me with this shell; you think you have power over me, you think you can make me work for you? Makes you feel powerful does it? Well I could take you at any moment.

“So then, why don’t you? Mmmmmm… I’m so tasty, look at my sweet, delicate flesh. Oh! My yolk is the richest heavenly nectar like you have never tasted before.

“Oh I will get you, my little egg. Don’t you doubt that. I have all the patience in the world. You think your teasing means anything? It doesn’t! I will get what I want; I can play your game but I am always the one in control and you should never forget that.

“Is that what you tell yourself? Mighty human doing my bidding. Oh, I’m just a little egg, poor and defenseless! Ha ha! You are mine and I am yours, and you will work for my sweet juices.

Eventually the anticipation was unbearable and I was not going to let this egg dominate me. Patience gave way. I smashed the half-shelled egg into my mouth, yolk dripping down my chin, crunching on the shell and rejoicing in the ecstasy of the egg’s deep insides.

Humans 1. Eggs 0. Although on reflection, perhaps this is what the egg wanted all along — in which case, who won?

And the moral of this story? Despite the obvious sexual overtones, to say that I projected sexual frustration onto the egg-incident doesn’t properly reflect the feelings I had at the time. The metaphors and crossovers are apparent, and they are genuine, but that I think is the point, that the crossovers genuinely exist. The experience was one of immersive devouring to fulfill a desire to eat. If you think about it we don’t have this in modern society. We have access to almost any food we want, without effort, and we take it for granted. There is no chase anymore. Perhaps it is the other way around and unfulfilled eating energy is projected onto sex due to the free availability of food in modern society. Perhaps if sex was more openly available and food was scarce then we would take sex for granted and gorge ourselves in elaborate feasts — like in ancient times (interesting thought.)

Either way, I will continue to study eggs and their odd, self-contradictory behavior pattern.

After this incident I wrote in my trip notes:
“Next time don’t give us eggs, or at least open them for us.”

Read more about my LSD adventures and the nature of reality:
Me, LSD & The Meaning of Life
Eggs, a Short Story from Ali’s Adventures in Wonderland
Reverse Engineering a Higher State of Consciousness
A Journey to Hell and Back Again
The World Has Gone Mad
Me, LSD & Everything
The End of the Line: Looking Back

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