Me, LSD & Everything

It’s been a while since the last article documenting my adventures into the mystical and magical realm of LSD. The reason for the radio silence is not because there was nothing to report, but because there was way too much. I had visions. I saw everything.

It’s weird, to know everything. It’s difficult to explain the feeling. (I just tried to explain it but gave up after 5 minutes and wrote this note in brackets instead.)

Yet I do know everything, and I’m not afraid to say that just because you, the reader, is likely going to be upset by that claim. It’s currently fashionable to give disclaimers like “this is only my opinion” and to downplay/under-exaggerate any claims that are not already culturally accepted. For example, arrogant people who think they are smart and like to pretend to not be arrogant because of their own insecurities say things like “I do/don’t believe xyz but that is only my personal opinion and I respect other people’s viewpoints.” Why the disclaimer? It serves three purposes: (1) it allows the speaker to be insecure, (2) it allows the listener to be insecure, (3) it’s meant to avoid conflict (also insecure.) This is not respect, it’s insecurity. A secure person would not give a shit about whether the other person misunderstood what they were saying. And what, pray tell, is the point of avoiding conflict? Fear of what? What are you scared of? Scared that someone might judge you? Scared that someone might tell you that they disagree with you? “Oh no, someone disagrees with me!” And what? Why bother trying to avoid conflict?

This downplaying doesn’t help anyone. It’s effectively dishonest. If everyone actually said what they wanted to say then you would know where you stand, you would know who your friends are and you would have no reason to be insecure, suspicious or confused. You would also know if someone was saying something they truly believed vs. just had an idea or read something someone else said.

Neither is is polite to throw in the disclaimer. ‘Polite’ is just being used here as an excuse to be insecure. You realize that the other person would not be upset, hence the concept of polite would not be necessary, if they were not already insecure? And then for you to care about bringing out the insecurity of another is itself your own insecurity and it makes the insecurity worse for both of you because it’s avoiding dealing with it.

So what people think of as being humble and avoiding unnecessary conflict is actually a disguise for insecurity and arrogance. Insecurity because they’re scared. Arrogance because they would rather bring everyone down than lift themselves up, hence why people get upset if someone tries to present themselves as actually knowing something without a disclaimer.

I’m not scared and I’m not arrogant. I’m not scared of upsetting you and I’m not scared of you judging me against your own imaginary insecurities. I have no desire to know more or to be ‘better’ than other people… my desire to know more and to better myself is unconnected to other people and it is not remotely my fault if you make no effort to achieve the same. I do not want to be better than other people; I just want to be grow and develop myself. It’s not my responsibility to manage your insecurities and I’m not going to downplay the truth just because you can’t handle it. That’s your problem. You can thank me later for pointing this out to you — no need to send a card, you can just post the thank you note on my Facebook page.

So what am I claiming to know exactly? Well… everything. Everything that exists, the reasons for everything, etc. I know what we are. I know why we are here. I know how we got here. I know what happens before we are born and after we die. I know what reality looks like and for what purpose it exists. I know what existence is and how that comes into being from nothing. I know what happened in the past and what will happen in the future. I know how this can be applied on a universal level, a global level and how it can radically change the life of any individual. I know how to get any person from depression to enlightenment. I know what happens after enlightenment. And more.

But the point of this article is not really to explain that to you, the reason for which being that I already wrote a book about it called What Am I? which you can buy on Amazon or download for free from here. Most of the everything that I was shown is covered in What Am I? and will be further explained in two more books that will be released over the next few weeks — one with a mathematical interpretation of God/infinity, and the other with direct instructions on how to apply all these things to one’s own life. All as free PDF as well as print paperback, of course.

For the remainder of this article I want to get back to discussing LSD and how my views on it have changed.

Revisiting What Is LSD

Almost everything I previously thought of as an effect or a side-effect of LSD I now understand to be due to one’s own mind/body and not caused directly by the LSD. This applies to everything that LSD does.

Virtually all of the effects that I first experienced on LSD are now integrated into my daily life. I no longer see brighter, more powerful colors and music is no longer more beautiful on LSD. This is not because the LSD no longer has that effect on me; it’s because I have that effect 100% of the time now and have gotten used to it. I’m always at that state.

“Oh no!” I hear you cry. “Ali’s now taken so much LSD he’s constantly high!” No, actually. These are not and never were LSD effects. They were always the natural effect of mind, the natural state of being human. LSD does not cause hallucinations: it heals, it repairs, it unveils illusions. Those effects are how we naturally see the world if only we were not damaged. LSD repairs damage.

Side effects such as getting the jitters, pressure inside the head and on the back of the neck, etc. which are common with LSD, are not side-effects. This is the result of healing that is going on in one’s body when one takes LSD. The pressure on the back of the neck is now gone for me even when I take LSD; the reason for that is healed. Contractions of the abdomen, which I previously assumed to be a weird side-effect of LSD, I now get on a continuous basis every day. It appears to be some kind of energy-body related phenomenon and these contractions somehow uproot emotional issues, bring them out and then disintegrate them. This is a daily thing for me now and I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not an LSD-related effect, but some kind of ‘spiritual awakening’ effect (I want to vomit for using the words ‘spiritual awakening’ — so cliche.)

The visions I started to receive on LSD I now get all of the time; although they are still stronger if I take LSD, yet they are getting stronger in normal life each day. These visions basically give me the answer to anything I want to know. It’s super-fun actually; reality is interesting, the way it works — it’s interesting to see how and why things are the way they are and watch them unfold. People manifesting their fears and then trying to run from them (as if they could run from themselves) then manifesting the same thing in a different guise around the next corner! Oh, silly humans!

Bad Trips Revisited

Bad trips are the key; bad trips are what LSD is really about. Bad trips are why I got further with LSD than others.

LSD wants to give you a bad trip; or to put it another way: your mind/body want to heal and the only way to heal is to feel. LSD gives your mind/body the opportunity to perform years worth of healing in a few hours. You see: LSD doesn’t cause bad trips anymore than it causes anything else, LSD simply enables you to bring out what you have been avoiding dealing with.

Bad trips on LSD are absolutely inevitable unless the conditions and environment are so strictly controlled that you do not address anything. In which case you’re not healing. Bad trips are inevitable because healing is inevitable and they are healing.

This is why I got further. Most people who start to take LSD fall into two categories: once they have a bad trip they either stop taking LSD out of fear, or else they try never to have a bad trip by not allowing themselves the freedom to feel anything. And that’s that… no more healing, no more growing.

I, on the underhand, after experiencing a bad trip that was the worst event of my life by far, as documented here, became obsessed with the concept. And I went back. You see, if you read my article on that experience, I didn’t actually face the fear… I only rode it out. And so… well I went back for more. I went back to face it. I went back to conquer it. I went back to look in the eye of that demon and show it what happens when it messes with the wrong human.

Bad trips only really become difficult, relatively speaking, when one forgets that one has taken LSD, can’t remember whether what’s going on is actually important/life-threatening or not, and/or can’t remember what to do. (“Am I supposed to fight this demon or accept it? I can’t remember…”) But that’s the fun of it! It’s effectively the same thing we do here on Earth: we’re dumped into a deliberately impossible situation with an erased memory and we can’t figure out what the thing we’re supposed to do is or whether it’s important or not — exactly like a bad trip on LSD. Oh, the joys! I curse myself every time I get into it, but I’m laughing it off a few hours later with several lifetimes worth of karma repaid.

Even I’m impressed at the extent of what I am capable of. I’ve seen it — they should make a movie about me; I should get a medal! I’ve seen me have everything I know ripped away and been dumped into a realm of terror; not knowing who or what I am, not knowing why I am there, and I’ve seen me rise up and conquer it… and then it’s ripped away again, and I’m thrown into another hell, and I rise up again, and again, and again. You could send me straight to hell right now (do not pass go, do not collect $200) and within a few hours I’d have stabbed the devil through the heart and be running the place myself. I’ve seen me do it. I know what I’m capable of.

That is a level of security that one gets by going through the fear. What cannot be killed, cannot be stopped. Once you know what you are, there is nothing to fear, and if there is nothing to fear then there is nothing to stop you.

Healing

It saddens me how against LSD most people are, and how misunderstood it is. It’d be like you were drowning and someone threw you a life-ring but you refuse to grab it because life-rings are ‘bad’ because… someone told you that because… life-rings are objects, and guns are also objects and so they’re both the same… and you know that a gun is not going to save you from drowning, so why would you grab a life-ring when they’re obviously in the same category? (This is precisely the logic used by people when they find out I use LSD.)

LSD made me stop drinking alcohol and it made me quit smoking. Interestingly the smoking was considerably less of an issue than the drinking. The reason being that alcohol creates issues, whereas smoking is simply a way to avoid dealing with issues that already exist. LSD made me quit drinking almost immediately whereas it let me keep smoking for some months before finally letting me know it was time to deal with the issue that I was smoking to avoid dealing with.

The fact that LSD cures addiction is just so obvious to me now, but I remember it not being so obvious. I remember being mildly surprised/impressed when I read on Wikipedia those months ago how LSD is not addictive. Now I know how it is. Addiction works like this: anything that can serve as an immediate distraction is addictive. Basically anything that enables you to ignore a bad feeling is addictive; that is what addiction is. The problem is your suppression of the feeling, not the substance. The idea that LSD could be addictive is laughable: it forces one to address issues. LSD is the opposite of addictive.

LSD makes quitting smoking fun! To be fair, it’s not the LSD doing this, but my general mental state. It’s fun to address issues when you’re no longer scared. It’s fun to face insecurities and overcome obstacles when you know it doesn’t really matter and it’s all part of a process that you are putting yourself through for a reason. It’s actually worth getting addicted to cigarettes just for the fun of quitting!

LSD is not necessary for spiritual development, just as yoga is not necessary for spiritual development. But why would you not do yoga when it’s just so damn effective? If I had to choose between yoga and LSD I’d probably have to go with yoga, but only because it’s more sustainable — LSD is slightly more effective than yoga.

Both LSD and yoga have the same effect on the mind/body; it’s a different path to the same place. Doing yoga on LSD is quite an experience.

It’s a crime that LSD is illegal and it’s a crime that the world has been brainwashed against something so good; something that saves lives, cures addictions, cures depression. Something that cures the whole human condition.

Oh well, never mind :) It’s all good fun!

Read more about my LSD adventures and the nature of reality:
Me, LSD & The Meaning of Life
Eggs, a Short Story from Ali’s Adventures in Wonderland
Reverse Engineering a Higher State of Consciousness
A Journey to Hell and Back Again
The World Has Gone Mad
Me, LSD & Everything
The End of the Line: Looking Back

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