Invisible Walls

So I float up high and fly,
Into the ice blue light,
Of the sky. My dreams float,
On thick, beautiful clouds,
Lit up by the Sun
With a lemon to white light–
Ever changing, yet the same.
A divine breath inhales,
And exhales in a whisper.
The clouds move forwards,
Twisting and twirling,
Like incense smoke rising,
Or ink bleeding in water.
They form shapes
Of the people I love,
And am yet to love,
And they show I am here
To break open hearts,
With jagged lightening,
And deafening thunder cracks,
That make you want
To cover your ears,
And run inside.
Yet slowly, you return,
Walking out onto the damp grass,
Fascinated by the brilliant beams
Behind dark storm clouds.
Ready to be soothed by the warm, soft rain That now comes down fast and hard.
Raindrops that feel good
As they run down your nose,
And land on your lips.
You smile to yourself,
Realising. You are actually are ready.
Ready to be held and made safe,
The way I need to be.
And I too break myself open,
To understand that the
Invisible walls I fly into
Are protective shields, 
I built myself.
In fear of failure. 
I made them from hurt and love,
Fear and happiness.
An idealist,
Who wants nothing more
Than your happiness–
For you to feel enough.
Because secretly
That’s all I desire
For myself.