Like a Flood.

A photo I took of my old house in 2011 during the flood.

Lately my nights have been going like this:

“I’m headed to bed.” Alyssa rests her head on the pillow and spends the next hour on a mindful adventure, going from church possibilities to “What did my friend mean when she said such and such 5 years ago?”.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who goes through this. Sometimes grand ideas can be birthed at this time. Sometimes we think they are grand, then wake up and wonder what in the world were we thinking.

A couple of nights ago, I laid in bed and, like a song, I heard these words repeating:

“The Father’s heart is postured towards me,

The Father’s heart, it beats for me.

I never have to walk in shame,

I never have to walk in worry.”

I wish I could type the melody, because it was lovely. It could have been just words that took occupancy in my head. It could just be pieces from other Christian songs that repeat on KLove. But I believe it was God flipping my heart. Handing me a mirror and showing me the ache of my heart, and how I don’t have to walk in my insecurities when The Creator of the universe has a heart that beats for mine. We don’t deserve it, but then again, is there anything we truly deserve?

As I rested and listened to these words dance around my mind, I saw a picture of a river channeling down hills and around bends. There was a plot of land labeled anxiety/worry. The channel rushed through and cut the anxiety in half. The river was Christ’s love. It was an absolute gorgeous sight. As it cut through, I heard God say “My love is at flood stage. Don’t try and sandbag.”

How many times do we see the love of Christ and desire it, but when it comes to cut through our anxiety, insecurities, pains, etc., we start to sandbag? We begin to come up with excuses and essentially hold on to pain. As we hold on to it, we question God and ask Him why we are this way, why we have these pains. Yet it is ourselves that have turned the pain into a security blanket, thinking that if it is taken away, we will have no control. But Christ wants to not only cut through the pain, but He wants to flood the land that it occupied, flooding it to rid it of the weeds that have sprung forth. And once the flood has wiped out the pain, we slowly watch as a new growth takes place. New fruit begins to grow, new nutrients appear, feeding not only our hungry hearts, but the hearts of others who still live in the desert. They will taste and see the goodness of God, and head back to their land and remove the sandbags, allowing for Him to flood their life.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
-Psalm 34:8

I hope this analogy makes sense. Sometimes I take off with them and go on forever. The whole point is this: Let God flood your life. Don’t hold on to the pain as if it is going to one day magically turn into a fruit that will satisfy you. Let God’s love pour in and seep into every area of your life, even the corners that are filled with cobwebs, spiders, and the unwanted desires of your heart. His goal is to heal and restore, not kill and destroy. Give it to Him.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
-John 10:10